Some people believe that children should learn languages which is more important, while others think that studying science at school is important. Discuss both side.

#people #children #languages #science #school #side

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There has been discussion revolving around whether children should concentrate more on learning foreign

languages

or science-based subjects.

This

essay will delve into both perspectives,

along with

my own viewpoint. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, learning a language is essential because almost all social sectors require

this

skill. In today’s modern society, more and more children have realized that learning

languages

is key to their successful careers.

Consequently

, the number of training courses focusing on teaching

languages

is increasing.

For example

, in Mongolia, recent data shows that over one thousand companies are engaged in linguistic businesses.

On the other hand

, gaining knowledge in science is fundamental to education because it can develop children’s cognitive skills, which are extremely useful in daily life. Without

science

Replace the word

scientific

show examples

knowledge, it is difficult to imagine creating a well-developed society as it nurtures analytical and critical thinkers. Not only do skillful engineers emerge from

this

knowledge, but

also

social advocates.

For example

, the famous scientist Darwin was a social influencer for human rights

while

exploring natural science. In conclusion,

while

learning

languages

can secure children’s future career pathways, exploring science-based subjects is equally important as it

also

benefits their brain development.

Submitted by zulzayanyamkhu on Wed Apr 03 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

You've done a great job in structuring your essay, ensuring that each paragraph discusses a different perspective. For even better coherence, try to link your ideas more smoothly with transitions that show more clearly how they relate to each other.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your discussion points, but you could enhance your conclusion by restating your own viewpoint more explicitly.

Support for Main Points

In discussing both sides, you’ve provided apt examples and reasons which strengthens your argument. Consider adding more diverse examples or counterarguments to deepen the analysis and make your essay more engaging.

Task Achievement

You've clearly addressed the task, providing a balanced discussion on both views. To push your score even higher, make sure to develop your personal viewpoint further, as this can add depth to your essay.

Structure

Your essay is well-structured, which makes it easy to follow.

Relevant Examples

You provided relevant examples that clearly support your points, such as the example of Mongolia and Darwin.

Effective Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively wraps up the essay, summarizing the discussion thoughtfully.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

193 words

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Some people believe that children should learn languages which is more important, while others think that studying science at school is important. Discuss both side.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

fast food has become cheaper in recent years. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

“Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people ? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?