Tourism is becoming a good source of revenue for many conutries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of developing this industry.

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In
this
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contemporary world,
tourism
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is one of the major sources of financing in many
countries
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, continuously building up their economies. It is my contention that whilst
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tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism

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sector is responsible for the development of
countries
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, it comes
along with
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drawbacks
such
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as pollution, high migration and steep price increases in local markets, making
affordable
Correct pronoun usage
it affordable

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leaving
Correct word choice
and leaving

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word unviable.

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unviable option for the ingenious people. As a salient benefit, undoubtedly,
tourisim
Correct your spelling
the tourism

If you don’t want tourisim to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

sector plays a crucial role in the
economies'
Correct your spelling
economies

The word economies' doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of many
countries
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like Turkey, France and
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE

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.
Surge
Add an article
The surge
A surge

The noun phrase Surge seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in tourist numbers creates additional monetary value at
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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touristic
Replace the word
tourist

The word touristic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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destinations.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tourism
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

alone accounts for 20% of Turkey's entire economy, allowing them to divert these resources to the advancement of other sectors that fell behind. In order to increase the number of visitors,
touristic
Replace the word
tourist

The word touristic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rigorously invest to develop their existing infrastructure
as well as
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enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb enhancing. Consider changing it.

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the
leaving
Correct your spelling
living

The word leaving doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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conditions of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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employees.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
tourism
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

promotes cultural exchange, allowing both visitors and hosts to learn about and appreciate different customs, traditions and ways of life. Resultantly,
this
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mutual comprehension can foster global connections and goodwill. Despite these benefits aforementioned above,
tourism
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can
also
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have adverse
affects
Replace the word
effects

The word affects may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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. First of all, as a direct result of
tourism
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, each year many forests, parks and the entire flora and fauna are being destroyed by the increasing number of tourists.
Moreover
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,
due to
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the increased demand in the peak seasons,
countries
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can be overwhelmed, falling short
on
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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accommodating tourists. Bearing in mind the influence of
Correct article usage
the seasanality
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Correct article usage
the seasanality

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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seasanality
Correct your spelling
seasonality
factor on the local markets, especially real-estate prices have
been surged
Change to the active voice
surged

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb surged in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

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drastically, compelling natives to cope with these difficulties.
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

offers a potential avenue for economic growth and cultural interaction, the scope of its drawbacks is expanding to a critical point, leading to
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant

The noun phrase significant increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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increase in local markets and environmental pollution.

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Introduction/Conclusion Presence
Ensure your introduction clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism to provide a more balanced overview from the beginning.
Spelling/Accuracy
Be mindful of minor inaccuracies and typos (e.g., 'tourisim', 'leaving conditions' should be 'tourism', 'living conditions') as they can slightly distract from the clarity of your message.
Balanced Argumentation
Try to evenly discuss both sides of the argument. While the essay provides strong examples of tourism's benefits and its drawbacks, ensuring an equal treatment can enhance your argument's balance.
Conclusion Development
Incorporating a conclusion that summarizes the key points made throughout the essay and explicitly states your position can reinforce your argument and provide closure to the reader.
Content Understanding
Your essay successfully outlines the major benefits and drawbacks of tourism, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples (e.g., Turkey's economy) effectively supports your points, making your arguments more convincing.
Coherence
You have a good ability to maintain logical structure and coherence throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue generation
  • Job creation
  • Economic stimulus
  • Cultural heritage
  • Heritage conservation
  • Infrastructure upgrades
  • Environmental degradation
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Commodification
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Economic volatility
  • Global market fluctuations
  • Transport advancements
  • Hospitality industry
  • Public service improvement
  • Ecological footprint
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