Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a school of thought that the perfect route to minimize the time spent
in
Change preposition
apply
traveling
to work is to replace the Change the spelling
travelling
parks
and gradens
close to the Correct your spelling
gardens
city
center
with apartment buildings for commuters Change the spelling
centre
whereas
others do not advocate for this
idea. From my perspective, I prefer to keep the existence of the parks
and garderns
in the heart of Correct your spelling
gardens
city
. Add an article
the city
Also
, this
essay will shed light on both views and provide my viewpoint.
On the one hand, some people
argue that replacing the parks
and gardern
close to the Correct your spelling
garden
gardens
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
by
apartment buildings to get more waste Change preposition
with
spaces
. If the park and garden spaces
covert
Correct your spelling
convert
in to
apartment buildings that will emerge a variety Join the words
into
benefits
for Change preposition
of benefits
people
working in the center
of Change the spelling
centre
city
. Add an article
the city
Firtstly
, the number of housing will increase as additional Correct your spelling
Firstly
spaces
so employees or official workers have more optins
to live near the company. Following that, because Correct your spelling
options
the
short distance between Change preposition
of the
house
and Correct article usage
the house
company
, the transport time will be shorter than the present.
Correct article usage
the company
On the other hand
, others have a converse opinion that green spaces
must be kept in the heart of city
. Add an article
the city
Fisrtly
, originally the rate of pollution in the Correct your spelling
Firstly
city
is
usually at the alarm level Wrong verb form
was
that is
the reason why the parks
and gardens exist in the center
of Change the spelling
centre
city
. They play a vital role as a lung of Add an article
the city
city
to provide more oxygen and mitigate Add an article
the city
the polluted
issues. Replace the word
pollution
Moreover
, the parks
and gardens in the city
become paramount to provide a
entertainment area to avoid technological devices or educate children about plants and creatures. Change the article
an
In addition
, they are also
a healing place for people
under pressure from work, which help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
are
Wrong verb form
be
refresh
and energized.
With all of the Wrong verb form
refreshed
aforemention
theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evident. From my standpoint, I Correct your spelling
aforementioned
belive
that replacing the Correct your spelling
believe
parks
and gardens by
housing and Change preposition
with
building
can Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
emerge
several advantages for commuters; Verb problem
bring
however
, the green spaces
in the heart of city
are far more imperative for Add an article
the city
environment
and Add an article
the environment
human's
health.Change noun form
human
Submitted by lethithut123 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure spelling consistency within the essay. For instance, decide on either 'gardens' or 'gradens' and stick to it throughout.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases and try to use synonyms or rephrase sentences to improve variety in your language.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, include more detailed, concrete examples to support your points. Theoretical arguments are strong, but real-life instances make your essay even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the clear separation of paragraphs and ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear single main idea which is expanded upon with examples and explanations.
task achievement
Watch out for minor grammatical errors that can detract from the overall clarity of your message. Regular review and practice can help improve your grammar over time.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present your viewpoint, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have successfully covered both sides of the argument with a balanced perspective before providing your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is well-organized with a logical flow that is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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