Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, after leaving
school
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
like to go to university
while
others enjoy getting vocational training. I am
also
keen on vocational
school
because of the following benefits. The most important advantage is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vocational training
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
shoter
Correct your spelling
shorter
shooter
education of study.
For example
, you will have a job sooner than study at university. Another
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
is that vocational
school
helps us develop our
practicle
Correct your spelling
practical
practice
skills.
for instance
,
while
we study at vocational
school
, we do apprenticeships. It was very useful for
we
Change the pronoun
us
show examples
because we will boost our practical skills and have more
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for the job we want to do. The final upside is that vocational training
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
less than higher education. All in all vocational
school
is very beneficial

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Task Achievement
Ensure to present a clear opinion that directly addresses the question: to what extent do you agree or disagree. Your current position might not be explicit enough for the reader.
Task Achievement
Develop both sides of the argument more thoroughly to fully address the prompt. Comparing benefits of vocational training with academic study could strengthen your answer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear and varied sentence structures to improve readability and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to maintain clarity. For example, 'shoter' should be 'shorter', and 'strenght' should be 'strength'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs each focusing on one main point, and a conclusion to improve structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a conclusion that clearly summarizes your points and restates your opinion. This provides a satisfying closure to your essay.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples to support your points, such as the benefits of apprenticeships in vocational training.
Task Achievement
The topic is relevant and you've focused well on the benefits of vocational training.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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