IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive and negative impact on society?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
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The development in AI and
robots
fields
 are altering almost work of
humans
 in most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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big
company
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companies
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. It is the writer of
this
 essay who contends that
this
 is
a
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an
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 adverse influence in the near future
due to
 the significant changes in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of jobless people in all
fields
. One of the core reasons
as to
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apply
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why
humans
 are highly replaced by
the
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apply
show examples
robots
 and artificial intelligence
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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the
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they
show examples
demanding for
Wrong verb form
demand
show examples
 a massive
amount
 of production from the industry. In
the
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apply
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light of
this
, the productivity of
robots
 and AI is always much for than
this
Correct determiner usage
that
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 of
humans
.
Moreover
,
the
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apply
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modern machines occupy the process of goods anytime under
the
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apply
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control and without their
broken
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breaking
show examples
 down. Take
recent
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a recent
show examples
 article by a number of German workplaces as an example where
pople
Correct your spelling
people
 made
workplace
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workplaces
show examples
 without
humans
 in all
fields
, they chose to replace with the developed AI tool to production to produce more and more efficient products. They
also
 believed that the
robots
 could complete
abundance
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an abundance
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demands
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of demands
show examples
 from the customers in their country if the demand
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for
massive
Add an article
a massive
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amount
. Another
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
considering
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apply
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is that it is
negative
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a negative
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 development when AI and
robots
 work all day
instead
 of
activity
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human activity
show examples
 of
humans
. It can be seen that the percentage of
unployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 around the world is higher when the
robots
 and artificial intelligence
fields
 are more developed. It is so challenging and difficult for people to apply for
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
 companies because of their weaker than the machines.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
alomost
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most
 individuals strongly believe that the risk of
industry
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the industry
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 is less happen when
the
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apply
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robots
 do
lieu
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in lieu
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 of
the
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apply
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humans
.
According to
 the latest news in America, there are a plethora of jobless people who do not have enough money for their life
such
 as renting
house
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a house
the house
show examples
, demanding food and drinking, . . . because their company is improved by a large
amount
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number
show examples
 of
robots
 and automatic machines to produce and join in the
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
 of their workplace anytime. They
also
 hope to find a job notwithstanding their
low-paid
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low pay
show examples
. By the reason they think the AI engine system is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 pressing issue
on
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apply
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around the world when
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 is
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
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 trend of unemployment. Taking all points into account, there are some negative elements
than
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that
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beneficial
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are beneficial
show examples
 as the development
in
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of
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robots
 and
aritificial
Correct your spelling
artificial
 intelligence may be altered completely
have
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and have
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 impact on the ability
of
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to
show examples
 work in
industry
Add an article
the industry
an industry
show examples
 of
humans
 in the near future.
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Consider structuring it with a brief overview of the essay's main points.
Cohesion & Structure
Work on developing a more cohesive and logical argument structure. Use paragraphs to separate different points and ensure each one clearly supports your argument.
Language & Style
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively and make your writing more engaging.
Conclusion
Remember to include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your viewpoint in a clear and impactful way.
Task Response
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion on both positive and negative impacts and clearly state your opinion.
Content & Examples
You demonstrated a good effort in tackling a complex topic and provided specific examples to support your points.
Understanding of Topic
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and an attempt to discuss its implications for society.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
What to do next:
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