The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.
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The given charts display information on the percentages and time spent by males and females in the associated 4 types of
house
Use synonyms
chores.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
equally spend time on pet care
while
Linking Words
more
men
Use synonyms
are involved in
house
Use synonyms
repairs than
women
Use synonyms
. Analyzing the first bar graph, the majority of
women
Use synonyms
clean and cook in their houses than
men
Use synonyms
20 per cent. Following that, both genders have the same percentage of pet care about 20 per cent.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
repair their houses more than
women
Use synonyms
by more than 10 per cent. Analyzing the second chart, it can be seen that
women
Use synonyms
spend about 85
minutes
Use synonyms
on cooking
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
allocate 60
minutes
Use synonyms
for the same home task daily.
Then
Linking Words
, 20
minutes
Use synonyms
are given for looking after
house
Use synonyms
pets among males and females.
Finally
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
are spending 15
minutes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
average more on
house
Use synonyms
repairs than
women
Use synonyms
, approximately 20
minutes
Use synonyms
per day.
Submitted by 6atb8k on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words house, men, women, minutes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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