IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011

The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011
#percentage #population #age #groups #town #bicycles
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the table illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people who did bicycling in 2011 in a town and classified them
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 different groups
according to
Linking Words
 their
age
Use synonyms
. at first
glance
Add a comma
glance,
show examples
 it is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 that
s
Correct your spelling
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 increased the number of people who used
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 decreased. In general, women used
this
Linking Words
 vehicle significantly more than men at different ages.And both groups started to
use
Use synonyms
 it again
at the end
Linking Words
 of life. Females had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of bicycle
use
Use synonyms
 until the
age
Use synonyms
 of nine years, which decreased slightly between the ages of 10 and 17. During their youth, the
use
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 vehicle was significantly reduced by women but again by the
age
Use synonyms
 of 60
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more riding
bucycle
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 gained more fans
ant
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of using that, had a little decreased.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, The number of men who used
bicycke
Correct your spelling
bicycle
bicycles
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 ten years of life was the highest, and in the second decade of their life,
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 was almost halved. The second significant decrease can be seen in the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 18-39 years old, when less than ten
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of men used
this
Linking Words
 vehicle. the same as females,males had a slight decrease in
middle-
Correct your spelling
middle age
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 and old
age
Use synonyms
 and they started to
use
Use synonyms
 bicycles again,so
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 has increased slightly
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, age, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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