People hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

In modern society, trends and fashions become dynamic because of rapid
technology
Replace the word
technological
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advancements.
This
dynamic situation reflects
of
Change preposition
apply
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what people want to do in their spare time, leading to a
ubiquitouis
Correct your spelling
ubiquitous
change over time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
essay delves into agreements with the notion that hobbies and interests within society reflect what people wish for their leisure time. First,
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Introduction Development
The essay introduction provides a promising start, but it's incomplete. Expanding your introduction to include a clear thesis statement that outlines your main arguments would strengthen your essay.
Essay Structure
The essay lacks body paragraphs and a conclusion. To effectively argue your point, develop at least two or three body paragraphs that offer clear, comprehensive ideas supported by examples or evidence, and conclude your essay by summarizing your arguments or offering a final reflection.
Supporting Evidence
Try to provide specific examples or evidence to back up your points. This will not only demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic but also make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clearer organizational structure would benefit your essay. Use transitions and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
Topic Relevance
You have chosen a relevant topic and provided a promising start to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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