The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summaries #information #features #comparisons

The given charts show the figure for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online shopping

sales

for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, it can be seen that travel was the largest profit in online

sales

in 2003

while

in 2013 the highest revenue was film/music.

To begin

with, travel held the lion's share in online

sales

with 36% in 2003, followed

that

Change preposition

show examples

the second position in the list belonged to clothes with 24%. Film/music occupied 21%

Change preposition

show examples

remote shopping

sales

and

then

the figure for books online

sales

was 19%. Moving on to the other categories, in 2013, the proportion of film/music in online shopping

sales

witnessed a significant increase to 36% which topped the list

while

there was a considerable decline in the percentage of travel.

Subsequently

, the figure for books remote online

sales

experienced a rise

Change preposition

show examples

3% reached to 22%.

Lastly

, clothes online shopping

sales

made up 16%.

Submitted by lethithut123 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Market share
Distribution
Retail sector
Consumer preferences
Growth/decline
Trend
Technological advancements
e-commerce
Comparison
Percentage
Online shopping sales
Sectoral shifts

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects disduss both views and give your opinion.

Global environmental issues are the responsibility of richer nations, not poorer ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.