The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given charts show the figure for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that travel was the largest profit in online
sales
Use synonyms
in 2003
while
Linking Words
in 2013 the highest revenue was film/music.
To begin
Linking Words
with, travel held the lion's share in online
sales
Use synonyms
with 36% in 2003, followed
that
Change preposition
by
show examples
the second position in the list belonged to clothes with 24%. Film/music occupied 21%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
remote shopping
sales
Use synonyms
and
then
Linking Words
the figure for books online
sales
Use synonyms
was 19%. Moving on to the other categories, in 2013, the proportion of film/music in online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
witnessed a significant increase to 36% which topped the list
while
Linking Words
there was a considerable decline in the percentage of travel.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the figure for books remote online
sales
Use synonyms
experienced a rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
3% reached to 22%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, clothes online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
made up 16%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Market share
  • Distribution
  • Retail sector
  • Consumer preferences
  • Growth/decline
  • Trend
  • Technological advancements
  • e-commerce
  • Comparison
  • Percentage
  • Online shopping sales
  • Sectoral shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: