Many city centers these days have traffic flow problems, causing congestion and pollution. One solution is to build fast ring roads on the outskirts of a city, taking traffic away from the centre. While this is helpful in some ways, it also causes new problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
think that problem
Correct article usage
the problem
with
traffic jams in the city Change preposition
of
centers
should be solved by developing Change the spelling
centres
fast
ring Correct article usage
the fast
roads
industry in the suburbs. This
essay totally disagrees with this
statement. Personally, I believe that ring roads
are not only the main sourse
of continuous noise and air pollution, Correct your spelling
source
in addition
, it is a serious problem for the lifestyle of pedestrians and cyclists of that area.
At first,
building of
Change preposition
apply
this
type of roads systems
Fix the agreement mistake
road system
are
more often provided by cutting down the forests and destroying environmentally significant landscapes. Change the verb form
is
Such
areas produce a major amount of oxygen and are crucial for the health of local residents. Furthermore
, the ability to travel faster by private car discourages people
from using the
public transport, which causes far less air pollution by transporting more Correct article usage
apply
people
by one bus or tram.
In addition
, existence
of ring Add an article
the existence
roads
has a negative impact to
pedestrians and cyclists. Change preposition
on
For example
, when we had travelling
to Dubai city with my immediate family Verb problem
travelled
last
year, instead
of walking down the streets, we had to get a taxi even for a tiny distance because of ring
road system, which we were not able to cross. Add an article
the ring
a ring
Such
road systems made local people
, who prefer walking or cycling, to
choose between Fix the infinitive
apply
make
a long detour to cross the road or Change the form of the verb
making
travel
by car.
In conclusion, despite Wrong verb form
travelling
constructing
Replace the word
construction
the
fast ring Change preposition
of the
roads
could be helpful for avoiding traffic congestion, it has been increasingly noticed, that it would have a significantly negative impact to
pollution and Change preposition
on
people
’s life
in the suburbs.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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Task Response
Continue developing your ideas fully with more detailed examples and expanding on how these solutions impact the problem directly. This will strengthen your argument further.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and arguments. While your essay is structured well, diversifying your connectors can make your reasoning even clearer.
Language
Check for minor grammatical errors that can slightly distract from your message. Pay particular attention to agreement and preposition usage.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear stance and maintains it throughout, effectively answering the task question.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to good coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
Your use of specific examples, like the experience in Dubai, adds weight to your arguments and makes them more persuasive.