IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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The given chart demonstrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 to 2015. In
overall
Linking Words
 view mobile phone users and computer users, the initial
percentage
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 is same and these
two
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categories
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 strike at peak position
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given interval of the
year
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The lowest
percentage
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 achieved
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given
year
Use synonyms
 interval is for MP3 Players.In the forthcoming paragraph, I explain deeply
this
Linking Words
 chart information.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,We rectify that there are four types of people who own household devices from the span of 1995 to 2015.
Firstly
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two
Use synonyms
categories
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 mobile phones and computers peaked at their highest position between 1995 to 2015 and the
percentage
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 was
initially
Linking Words
 the same nearly about 8% for both
categories
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 and suddenly increased to 70% in the
year
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 2000.
However
Linking Words
,personal computer users gradually increase from the initial
year
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 to the end of the
year
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. Other than that,the Popularity of the
two
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categories
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 tablet and mp3 player is less in comparison to the other
two
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categories
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 player
initially
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 started at 15% and in the
year
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 2000 the computer and mp3 user percentages were the same at about 25% and
then
Linking Words
 the mp3 player popularity
further
Linking Words
 increased slowly ended nearly about 32% in 2015.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were no people owing tablets before the
year
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 2000 and it became popular after the
year
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 2000 and peaked at 72 % in the
year
Use synonyms
 2015.
Submitted by sanjayrajput2163 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, initially".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, two, categories, year, mp with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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