In modern times young adults spending more time with their friends and less time with family. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In
this
day and age, most of the youth tend to allocate most of their time to their friends rather than their families.
This
phenomenon could be attributed to both
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
gap
and cutting-edge
technology
, which would not smooth out only by parenteral restrictions.
According to
my point of view, the most important
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
why
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
do prefer their friends
instead
of their families, is the
generation
gap
between them and their
parents
. Unfortunately,
parents
do not feel the
nessecity
Correct your spelling
necessity
to
over come
Correct your spelling
overcome
show examples
this
, which is why it is getting worse as time goes on. The second most important reason is that the youth tend to be technophiles,
whereas
the aged
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
to be
technophobes
Correct your spelling
technophiles
show examples
, which is an
aggrevating
Correct your spelling
aggravating
factor for the
generation
gap
.
For example
, most
parents
are not able to use online platforms. There are some measures that could be taken to overcome
this
problem.
For instance
,
parents
should start to socialise with their children as much as they can, and make progress in all fields necessary to overcome the problem of
Correct article usage
the generatin
show examples
generatin
Correct your spelling
generation
generating
gap
. Taking the example of
technology
,
parents
should start to learn how to use up-to-the-minute
technology
gadgets, and even learn computer coding, as well. In conclusion, there are various factors which
endangers
Change the verb form
endanger
show examples
relations in families
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the two most important of which are
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
gap
and
technology
. which could be solved if all family members took appropriate solutions
such
as spending more time together through innovative
methodes
Correct your spelling
methods
and not being
affraid
Correct your spelling
afraid
of
technology
and new devices.
Submitted by bakhti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

stylistic improvement
Try to include a range of sentence structures and punctuation for greater clarity and impact.
accuracy
Be mindful of spelling and grammar; small mistakes can distract from your argument.
content depth
Consider developing your examples further to more explicitly illustrate your points.
structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
comprehension and engagement
The essay shows an understanding of the topic, with a clear delineation of causes and suggested actions.
effective use of examples
You successfully used technology and generation gap as concrete examples to support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital connectivity
  • Peer interaction
  • Independence
  • Generational gap
  • Societal norms
  • Nuclear family
  • Extracurricular
  • Urbanization
  • Mobility
  • Social development
  • Counterproductive
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Personal space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: