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Band 5

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career seversl times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era, many people have the tendency to shift from one
employer
Use synonyms
 to another more often than before during their course of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. It can have various upsides and downsides which will be examined
further
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 in the essay.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous positive impacts that come with changing jobs. First and foremost is the growth of an individual's skills at different
jobsites
Correct your spelling
job sites
.
While
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 a
person
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 changes his company, he gets
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to improve his expertise in his present set of talents
also
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 he could gain experience in other fields as well.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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current
employers
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 generally never tend to change
responsibilities
Correct article usage
the responsibilities
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 of employees because they do not want to lose a stable employee but at a new workplace the
employer
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 tests the employee at different positions to know their adroitness.
Nextly
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Next
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, the people who change their workplaces frequently are able to negotiate their salary better than their present
employer
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.
For instance
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, the present
employers
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 only raise salary to a certain limited extent but the new
employer
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 offers better income offers
due to
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 past achievements of the jobseeker.
On the contrary
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, there are some shortcomings of
this
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 trend.
First
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The first
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 problem
arise
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arises
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 when a
person
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 is not able to concentrate
in
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on
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 one field of interest and
constant
Correct article usage
the constant
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 changing of roles at varied organizations
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 a lack of focus.
Consequently
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, it leads to
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 pay
raise
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raises
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 by
Use synonyms
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 and chances to rise to higher positions become
meager
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meagre
show examples
.
Thus
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, new careers may not allow an individual to
built
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build
show examples
 an expertise
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 field.
Finally
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, another reason ascribing to the negative side is the inability to maintain connections within the same career when a
person
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 can have an opportunity to create relations in the long run.
While
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 a
person
Use synonyms
 shifts from one job to another he cannot make strong relations with his colleagues and boss because many
employers
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 prefer
long term
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long-term
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 retention of human resources.
Thus
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, they do not pay attention to employees who take interest for
short term
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short-term
show examples
period
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periods
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. Even they will not readily train an employee properly before a
probabtion
Correct your spelling
probation
 period of six months or even a year.
Thus
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, a
person
Use synonyms
 could miss certain great options of training which only
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 and patient players achieve in their fields.
To conclude
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, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of positives and negatives of continuous change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
employers
Use synonyms
.
Although
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, an individual may better negotiate his pay and new workplace
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
 chances of learning new skills are provided
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
employers
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 may identify
short terms
Correct your spelling
short-term
show examples
 players and may never consider them for their job or even some people may not be able to gain expertise in their career.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain coherence and clarity throughout your essay.
task achievement
To score higher in task achievement, try incorporating more specific examples or case studies to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Review and refine your use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your argument and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising any repetitive phrases or ideas for a more dynamic and concise delivery of your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You've effectively addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, demonstrating comprehensive coverage.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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