In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

The
Correct article usage
Payment
show examples
payment
methods have been
developing
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
to lessen banknotes
payment
. In my opinion,
this
might affect
people
in daily life because paper money will be replaced by cards or online
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, some
people
will be unsatisfied because of
hard
Correct article usage
the hard
show examples
method and paying heavy taxes. Nowadays, some
countries
use card or phone
payments
instead
of cash since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet access is usually widely available.
Firstly
, some governments require reducing the costs of producing banknotes.
This
is the reason why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments encourage commercial banks to adopt
cashless
systems
such
as online platforms or card
payments
.
Moreover
, governments are able to examine the income of the population from
bank
accounts.
As a result
, the government can gain more tax income of tax from
this
process.
On the other hand
, the elderly generation who lack access to technology do not understand how to use
cashless
payments
.
Additionally
, underdeveloped
countries
have populations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
are unbanked or underbanked,
such
as Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar.
Furthermore
, tax avoidance decreases when
people
have to use the
cashless
system
due to
government examination of
bank
accounts.
For example
,
bank
account books are being replaced by mobile banking applications or
bank
websites, and
instead
of paying with banknotes,
people
will pay with cards or mobile phones. In conclusion,
cashless
payment
is already present in some
countries
, and
this
trend is expected to increase dramatically in the future. Online platforms and card
payments
are replacing paper money with government support.
However
, the majority of
people
in underdeveloped
countries
do not have access to convenient
payment
methods.
Submitted by baby11mystar on

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coherence & cohesion
Try adding more transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. This will make the progression of your ideas smoother and easier to follow.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider including more varied and detailed examples. This will provide stronger support for your main points and make your essay more persuasive.
task response
You effectively addressed the topic and provided a clear opinion on the future of cashless payments.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supporting details
You used relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments clearly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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