The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.write at least 150 words

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.write at least 150 words
The diagrams illustrate the changes West Park Secondary
school
Capitalize word
School
show examples
has
transformed
Verb problem
undergone
show examples
over
duration
Add an article
the duration
a duration
show examples
of 60 years since it is
establishment
Add an article
an establishment
the establishment
show examples
in 1950.
Although
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
pieces
Change preposition
of pieces
show examples
have changed since 1950, the school has remained the same.
Also
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
show examples
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
invariable. It is forecast that the playground should be a friendly environment for the children.
Likewise
Add a comma
Likewise,
show examples
the main school building has not changed at all. By 1980,
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
change
has take
Wrong verb form
had taken
show examples
place, replacing the houses with car
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
and science
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
show examples
.
This
is related to providing students with
course related
Add a hyphen
course-related
show examples
facilities.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the replacement of farmland
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
sports
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
is
due to
changes in society and time,
either
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it is
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
of the decrease of
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
enterprise in 30 years. In 2010, the sports field and playground space
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
. Presumably,
this
is
due to
population growth and car ownership.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it is
realated
Correct your spelling
related
to the fact that people are less active and sporty,
children
Correct word choice
and children
show examples
prefer to stay
indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
show examples
instead
of playing outside.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, due to".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • renovation
  • expansion
  • modernization
  • infrastructure
  • landscape
  • facade
  • demolition
  • construction
  • alteration
  • amenities
  • accessibility
  • sustainability
  • curriculum
  • enrollment
  • pedagogy
  • architecture
  • commute
  • heritage preservation
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