IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrates the proportion ogg leisure need’s expenditure in seven European countries, whereas the pie chart indicates the yearly budget of each family living in the UK for entertaining activities.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion ogg leisure need’s expenditure in seven European countries, whereas the pie chart indicates the yearly budget of each family living in the UK for entertaining activities.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion
ogg
Correct your spelling
of
 leisure
need’s
Change noun form
needs
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 expenditure in seven European countries,
whereas
Linking Words
 the pie chart indicates the yearly budget of each family living in the UK for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
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activities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 British residents spend the most budget
for
Change preposition
on
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 their leisure interests. They
also
Linking Words
 show their preference for outdoor
activities
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. As can be seen from the chart, the UK takes the first place in allocating for leisure needs on a daily basis (21,3%). Sweden follows closely with 18,4%,
while
Linking Words
 Austria and Germany take the third place (17,7%) and the fourth place (16,8%) respectively. Speaking of Greece and Portugal, their proportions are almost merely ( 13.3%
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to 12.9%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italians spend the least budget on recreational
activities
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 at only 10.9%. In terms of the UK, outdoor
activities
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 take up the most annual expenditure on recreational needs, approximately 1431
pounds
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, followed by culture and sports (588
pounds
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). Electric goods and music occupy a marginal proportion, at 313
pounds
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the expenditure on reading
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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 and holidays are similar at 268
pounds
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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