IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.

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Dear Ryan, I’m really excited about your plan to work in India for a few months. I fondly remember about us
chit chatting
Add a hyphen
chit-chatting

It seems that chit chatting is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 for hours in school classes back in the
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day

It seems that days may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. I would feel joyful meeting you back after these many years. I’d suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply

The verb work appears to be in the subjunctive mood. Consider removing the particle to.

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work in Bangalore
city
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 which is in the south. I know it is a fantastic
city
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to move to
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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 because I have lived there for nearly 7 to 8 years during my college days. It
being
Change the form of the verb
is

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb being. Consider changing it.

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 a Metro
city
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and has all the facilities you could think of. It has subways, 2 airports and a
well organised
Add a hyphen
well-organised

It appears that well organised is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 transport system for easy commute. It’s known for start-ups as well. The
city
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 never sleeps and has hustlers
form
Correct your spelling
from

The word form doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 different parts of India. The
city
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 might be a bit costly but there are a ton of job opportunities as well. I would recommend you to go for a
Software related
Correct your spelling
Software-related

The word Software related doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 job as I know you are pretty darn good at it. There are plenty of
big shot
Add a hyphen
big-shot

It seems that big shot is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 software companies over there.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, you can easily make new buddies, as there are many amazing Nightclubs and pubs.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 place has many young boys and girls from different parts of India and it’s fun to talk to them. The
city
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has various social events happening in shopping malls and clubs where it’s easy to gossip and socialize with people. I’m really thrilled to see you here. Warm wishes, John.

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coherence cohesion
Continue to provide clear explanations within each paragraph as you've done here, ensuring a strong logical flow between ideas.
task achievement
You could enhance the letter by adding specific examples or personal anecdotes. This adds depth to your suggestions and makes your letter more engaging.
task achievement
Make sure to vary your sentence structures to maintain the reader’s interest and to demonstrate a wide range of language abilities.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and welcoming tone, perfectly matching the task's requirement to write to a friend.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making the letter organized and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your closing and opening statements are warmly and appropriately phrased, creating a genuine sense of connection.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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