IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.

#friend #country #work #months #•recommend #city #•suggest #jobs #•give #friends #locals
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Dear Ryan, I’m really excited about your plan to work in India for a few months. I fondly remember about us
chit chatting
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chit-chatting
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 for hours in school classes back in the
days
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day
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. I would feel joyful meeting you back after these many years. I’d suggest you
to
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apply
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work in Bangalore
city
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 which is in the south. I know it is a fantastic
city
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 to move to
,
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apply
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 because I have lived there for nearly 7 to 8 years during my college days. It
being
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is
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 a Metro
city
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, and has all the facilities you could think of. It has subways, 2 airports and a
well organised
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well-organised
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 transport system for easy commute. It’s known for start-ups as well. The
city
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 never sleeps and has hustlers
form
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from
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 different parts of India. The
city
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 might be a bit costly but there are a ton of job opportunities as well. I would recommend you to go for a
Software related
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Software-related
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 job as I know you are pretty darn good at it. There are plenty of
big shot
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big-shot
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 software companies over there.
Also
Linking Words
, you can easily make new buddies, as there are many amazing Nightclubs and pubs.
This
Linking Words
 place has many young boys and girls from different parts of India and it’s fun to talk to them. The
city
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 has various social events happening in shopping malls and clubs where it’s easy to gossip and socialize with people. I’m really thrilled to see you here. Warm wishes, John.
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

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coherence cohesion
Continue to provide clear explanations within each paragraph as you've done here, ensuring a strong logical flow between ideas.
task achievement
You could enhance the letter by adding specific examples or personal anecdotes. This adds depth to your suggestions and makes your letter more engaging.
task achievement
Make sure to vary your sentence structures to maintain the reader’s interest and to demonstrate a wide range of language abilities.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and welcoming tone, perfectly matching the task's requirement to write to a friend.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making the letter organized and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your closing and opening statements are warmly and appropriately phrased, creating a genuine sense of connection.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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