More and more students choose to move to other oversea countries to have the higher education. Does the trend bring more benefits than disadvantages? What is your opinion?

#students #move #oversea #countries #education #trend

In recent years, the number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

trying to live in other nations and take lessons with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

native

Fix the agreement mistake

natives

show examples

Verb problem

has

show examples

increasing

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

significantly. I believe that

this

movement will provide the

students

with

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

effects because they can have precious experiences staying there. Regarding the

metrits

Correct your spelling

metrics

merits

to go to another country during the school

life

, the young can expand their

netwarking

Correct your spelling

networking

. Even though the technical skills are developed dramatically, it is occasionally difficult for people to get

along with

otehrs

Correct your spelling

others

on the Internet. Communicating with

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

who have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

face-to-face will open up talks and they will share their interests

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other.

This

expanding

Replace the word

expansion

show examples

may people's future including jobs.

Additionally

, the

students

can obtain stable confidence.

It is clear that

ending

life

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

nation which may be spoken in

non-first

Correct article usage

a non-first

show examples

language when they are

youger

Correct your spelling

younger

is tough and they feel likely to retire

that

Change preposition

from that

show examples

tight

life

. After overcoming the obstacles,

however

, they can be given

profond

Correct your spelling

profound

memories and mentality. In conclusion, the number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

who will spend their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

in different

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

should be increasing more, thinking about the advantages.

This

experience

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

the

youger

Correct your spelling

younger

with mass networking and

confidences

Fix the agreement mistake

confidence

show examples

which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not got in

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country.

Submitted by takeru1626 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Language Enhancement

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and structures to enhance your essay. Including more complex sentences could improve clarity and depth.

Spelling and Grammar

Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'the number of the students' should be 'the number of students', 'metrits' should be 'merits', 'netwarking' should be 'networking'). These small errors can detract from your overall argument's clarity.

Supporting Details

Consider providing more elaborated examples to support your points. While your arguments are clear, more detailed examples could make your essay more compelling and persuasive.

Structure

You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your essay effectively.

Opinion Clarity

Good job on providing a balanced view and concluding with a strong opinion, which is essential for a good Task Response score.

Coherence

The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

202 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more students choose to move to other oversea countries to have the higher education. Does the trend bring more benefits than disadvantages? What is your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that tourists should follow the traditional customs of the host country. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might be the case do you think this is a positive or negative situation

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world developed rapidly through the telecommunication and air travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?