More and more students choose to move to other oversea countries to have the higher education. Does the trend bring more benefits than disadvantages? What is your opinion?
In recent years, the number of
the
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apply
students
trying to live in other nations and take lessons with the
Correct article usage
apply
native
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natives
is
Verb problem
has
increasing
significantly. I believe that Wrong verb form
increased
this
movement will provide the students
with possitive
effects because they can have precious experiences staying there.
Regarding the Correct your spelling
positive
metrits
to go to another country during the school Correct your spelling
metrics
merits
life
, the young can expand their netwarking
. Even though the technical skills are developed dramatically, it is occasionally difficult for people to get Correct your spelling
networking
along with
otehrs
on the Internet. Communicating with Correct your spelling
others
other
who have Fix the agreement mistake
others
a
different Correct article usage
apply
background
face-to-face will open up talks and they will share their interests Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
each
other. Change preposition
with each
This
expanding
may people's future including jobs.
Replace the word
expansion
Additionally
, the students
can obtain stable confidence. It is clear that
ending life
in other
nation which may be spoken in Correct quantifier usage
another
non-first
language when they are Correct article usage
a non-first
youger
is tough and they feel likely to retire Correct your spelling
younger
that
tight Change preposition
from that
life
. After overcoming the obstacles, however
, they can be given profond
memories and mentality.
In conclusion, the number of Correct your spelling
profound
the
Correct article usage
apply
students
who will spend their life
in different Fix the agreement mistake
lives
country
should be increasing more, thinking about the advantages. Fix the agreement mistake
countries
This
experience provide
the Change the verb form
provides
youger
with mass networking and Correct your spelling
younger
confidences
which Fix the agreement mistake
confidence
are
not got in Correct subject-verb agreement
is
home
country.Add an article
the home
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Language Enhancement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and structures to enhance your essay. Including more complex sentences could improve clarity and depth.
Spelling and Grammar
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'the number of the students' should be 'the number of students', 'metrits' should be 'merits', 'netwarking' should be 'networking'). These small errors can detract from your overall argument's clarity.
Supporting Details
Consider providing more elaborated examples to support your points. While your arguments are clear, more detailed examples could make your essay more compelling and persuasive.
Structure
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your essay effectively.
Opinion Clarity
Good job on providing a balanced view and concluding with a strong opinion, which is essential for a good Task Response score.
Coherence
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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