In 21th century humans prefer to talk on social media and think it is the best way to meeting. From my point of view, despite it dispose the host of offline meeting it is able to save the large amount of time for humans.

In
21th
Correct word choice
the 21st
show examples
century humans prefer to talk on social media and think it is the best way to
meeting
Change the form of the verb
meet
show examples
. From my point of view, despite it
dispose
Replace the word
disposal
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the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
host of offline
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
it is able to save
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large amount of time for humans. Nowadays, we are living in a world where is technology developed enough for
generation
Add an article
a generation
show examples
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
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want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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to communicate without leaving their home.
Also
, people think it separates us from
word
Correct article usage
the word
show examples
view. Siting only
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home and connecting our life with
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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easily able to limit us because, if
person
Correct article usage
a person
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connect
Change the verb form
connects
show examples
his life with only
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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he may be not
ale
Correct your spelling
able
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to process without electricity or thing which depend on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Mainly it makes a person
depended
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dependent
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. For
example
Add a comma
example,
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the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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of scientists proves that, if individuals siting
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their comfort zone and
limiting
Wrong verb form
limit
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their
live
Replace the word
lives
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with
Change preposition
to
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online
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
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will not
expend
Correct your spelling
expand
show examples
. Despite, the all negatives about online
reside
Replace the word
residence
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it can help for
host
Add an article
a host
show examples
of individuals with disabilities work
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
and earn money. In
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
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, to
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
it is useful
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
busy persons
for saving their
Change preposition
to save
show examples
time because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they may be capable
to finish
Change preposition
of finishing
show examples
work in their location and deal many projects with abroad companies. What is more, it may be useful and protect much of aliveness.
For instance
, in 2019 we faced to virus which spread by air
for
this
reason many educational
system
Change to a plural noun
systems
show examples
used
such
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of zooms and continued study. On top of it saves much aliveness.
To conclude
, there are a lot of advantages than negatives. From my point of view
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad communication can not be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
for limiting us from
net
Add an article
the net
show examples
.
Submitted by ieltsielts81 on

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task achievement
Consider working on improving the accuracy of your technology-related language and focusing on providing more precise examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more logically by clearly delineating paragraphs and ensuring each one focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
To achieve a higher degree of clarity in your essay, focus on using precise language and verifying correct usage of terms related to technology and communication.
coherence cohesion
Utilize transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively introduced the topic and provided a conclusion that reflects upon the main points presented in the essay.
task achievement
You've shown an understanding of the broader impacts of technology on various aspects of human life, which relates well to the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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