IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that what individuals protect the environment cannot make a difference. Other people say that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is a debatable view about who is the best to protect the surroundings. Some folk say that individuals do not have a significant difference in environmental protection,
while
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 others believe that every person can take environmental responsibility. I believe that environmental responsibility should be taken care of by each individual, but government roles will create a bigger impact. On the one hand, small changes should start with each person and environmental protection is no exception.
This
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 means that there are several ways to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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 for the surroundings starting from each person's home.
For example
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,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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,
reuse
Wrong verb form
reusing
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, and
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycling
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 are the best ways to take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 the earth. Those ways are simple acts that all
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 can do by themselves to manage their rubbish and belongings.
Furthermore
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, those who use public transportation are
also
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 responsible act to decreasing air pollution.
On the other hand
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, authorities should take action to provide a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 the earth. States should create a strict and clear
rule
Use synonyms
 about environmental protection;
this
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rule
Use synonyms
also
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 must have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
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 for people who do not obey the
rule
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, the government
also
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 should raise society’s awareness about how to protect the surroundings and the impacts of a destroyed environment. There are groups of people who do not understand the hazardous impact of environmental loss, and they
also
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 do not have knowledge about how to protect them.
For instance
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, a campaign from the Ministry of Environment is one way to share knowledge with the community.
To sum up
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, both individuals and governments should take action to care for the environment. People can start by managing their trash and belongings. Meanwhile, authorities create a
rule
Use synonyms
 and campaign to raise citizen awareness.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Continue to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct viewpoint or aspect of the topic. This structure enhances readability and argument flow.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on your examples by adding more detail or context where possible. This adds depth to your arguments and supports your viewpoints more convincingly.
Introduction & Conclusion
You effectively introduced the topic and presented a clear thesis statement, setting the stage for a well-structured argument.
Complete Response
Your essay maintains a good balance between discussing both views and providing your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements efficiently.
Supported Main Points
Your use of examples, such as recycling and public transportation, to support your points is commendable and strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • significant environmental change
  • personal habits
  • conserving water
  • systemic changes
  • industrial pollution
  • deforestation
  • corporate and governmental policies
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • sustainable products
  • policies and regulations
  • global environmental challenges
  • ripple effect
  • broader societal changes
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