Some parents guide their children's education towards specific careers, such as in engineering, medicine, or law. u What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child who has this kind of parental guidance?
To get good
oppurtunities
, Correct your spelling
opportunities
children
are guided by the
Change the word
their
parents
to persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
peruse
Add an article
a career
career
in Fix the agreement mistake
careers
medical
, technology or justice which has certain pros and cons. I Replace the word
medicine
Intend
to discuss these below and give my views Fix capitalization
intend
at the end
.
To begin
with, the first and foremost benefit choosing
medical, engineering and law is that these careers Change preposition
of choosing
involves
more money as compared to other jobs. As, these Change the verb form
involve
practioners
are always demanded by common people for daily purposes Correct your spelling
practitioners
due to
connection with basic needs of health service, home buiding
and common legal matters. Correct your spelling
building
For instance
, developing countries like canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
shortage
of employees in Add an article
a shortage
Correct article usage
the heath
heath
and construction sector which creates Correct your spelling
health
need
to bring skilled engineers Add an article
the need
a need
ansd
doctors from other countries. Correct your spelling
and
Secondly
, parents
are extremly
protective Correct your spelling
extremely
about
their pears so they want them to work in these secure jobs. becauseChange preposition
of
,
these are mostly 9 to 5 works with holidays on weekends which allows the employee to go home at night and enjoy weekends with families.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, there are several drawbacks of
Change preposition
to
such
kind of career related
suggestions by Add a hyphen
career-related
parents
. Firstly
, it provokes the children
to think of other creative works related to art, music ,sports and so on. As,
these talents Remove the comma
apply
are
need to be polished at little age to Unnecessary verb
apply
get
huge Verb problem
achieve
succes
in Correct your spelling
success
same
field but Change the article
the same
conventional
mindset of Add an article
the conventional
parents
does allow children
to think out
of Change preposition
outside
box
. Add an article
the box
Therefore
, some inviduals
stick to Correct your spelling
individuals
wrong
career having these hidden talents inside.
In conclusion, Change the article
the wrong
although
parental advice for choosing specific fields mitigate
creative minds in art Correct subject-verb agreement
mitigates
but
it secures the family life of their Remove the conjunction
apply
children
and fulfils demand
of Add an article
the demand
job
market.Correct article usage
the job
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs start with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea you will discuss.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and arguments, leading to smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
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General
Revise your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance overall readability. Consider using tools or resources to assist with grammar and spelling.
Task Achievement
Addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introductory and concluding paragraphs effectively frame the essay's main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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