Some believe that showing people happy pictures (pictures in which outstanding achievements are made in helping the poor) is more effective in encouraging them to take action to solve poverty than sad pictures ( that show how hard life can be for the poor). Do you agree or disagree? Why?
In
this
period of modernity, many people
suggest that showing positive pictures of helped poor people
including successive outcome
can stimulate Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
people
’s attempting
to volunteer Wrong verb form
attempt
easier
than showing negative visual documents. In Rephrase
more easily
this
society, Exposing contents
of reality became a part of promoting Correct article usage
the contents
donation
or other volunteer activities. In my opinion, I disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
donations
this
notion because I see ‘empathy’ as a strong trigger for people
to help others.
Supporting my disagreement to
the given statement, I firmly believe that to move Change preposition
with
people
’s mind
, we need sensational Fix the agreement mistake
minds
pop ups
to catch their eye. Add a hyphen
pop-ups
Among
our busy society, Change preposition
In
people
don’t have enough time and spatial spare
these days. To cite an example, it is Correct your spelling
space
a
same principle with advertising. ‘ More stimulating Internet banners are, more viewers are clicking ‘. Correct article usage
the
Moreover
, fact
can be distorted Fix the agreement mistake
facts
while
visualizing overjoyed
picture. Actually, promoting Correct article usage
an overjoyed
donation
or other voluntary Fix the agreement mistake
donations
movement
includes intentions to let Fix the agreement mistake
movements
people
know the precise situation of problem
. Add an article
the problem
However
, If positive outcomes are preferred, other collateral things may become more visible than realistic situations.
Explaining some of the another supporting points
Replace the adjective
another supporting point
other supporting points
in
against Change preposition
apply
this
statement, it is true that too exaggerated description
of facts can put pressure or qualms on random Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
people
. To add to that, people
are emotionally vulnerable these days, it can cause negative effect
to society with its mindless exposure.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
effects
however
, I believe that with accurate direction and purpose, showing heavy-hearted pictures can make more people
to
put themselves in someone’s shoes far and away.Change the verb form
apply
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Task Achievement
Make sure to provide a balanced view in your essay, especially if you are disagreeing with a statement. Offering a counter-argument before stating your own opinion can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Utilizing a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
Always provide specific examples to support your main points. These examples should clearly relate to the topic and help illustrate your arguments effectively.
Task Achievement
You have clearly articulated your disagreement with the given statement, which effectively sets the tone for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and reiterates the importance of empathetic responses, demonstrating a good understanding of essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.