IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think the government should provide free hosting, while others believe it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #government #responsibility
Some argue that the
government
 should provide services to its community without receiving money,
while
 others consider
such
 actions an unnecessary responsibility for the
government
. In
this
 essay, the idea of the first group in terms of improving
people
's living conditions and the second perspective in terms of
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 consequences it can bring to the
government
 will be discussed. Supporters of providing free accommodation assert that were the
government
 to give individuals houses without receiving money, everyone in society would be satisfied with their
government
. Because of
this
, if authorities take
such
 measures, not only poverty will decrease and deprived
people
 have places to live like other
people
, but
also
 an agreeable society will be created.
On the other hand
, others put forward that
while
 giving social services is beneficial for community satisfaction, it is not a task that the
government
 should be doing at
this
 time.
In other words
, were the
government
 to spend all the country's budget on providing free housing or other services, it might get involved in economic depression, and not only make
people
 become dissatisfied with the authority, even they may
also
 struggle to destroy
such
 community. In conclusion,
although
 accompanying the
government
 may be able to satisfy the
people
 and create a unified
government
, the imposition of
such
 responsibilities will have unavoidable effects on the
government
.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Examples
Try to provide more specific examples in your arguments to strengthen your points.
Opinion
Make sure to fully outline your personal opinion in the conclusion for greater clarity.
Structure
You have a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Coherence
Your essay is coherent, making effective use of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
Content
You effectively discuss both views, providing a balanced analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: