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Writing Samples
Band 5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensave the survival of local languages and if so, how?

#english #school #languages #risk #ensave
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English
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 become the worldwide
language
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 in
modern
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the modern
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 world.
In all
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All
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 over the world, people
speaks
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speak
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 the
English
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language
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.
Moreover
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,
English
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 in schools often
see
Verb problem
apply
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teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
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 to
students
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 rather
their
Correct word choice
than their
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 native
language
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 but if
students
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 not
learned
Wrong verb form
learn
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 their mother tongs it can
dying
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die
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 out. In my point of view, native languages should give preference in
school
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 by organizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competition
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 events and
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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slogans on
walls
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. To commence with
first
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the first
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 view,
English
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 is vital to teach in
school
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 because it is the main
language
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 of
most
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a most
the most
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 developed nation. If
students
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 learn
English
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Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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, they can go abroad
for
Change preposition
to
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 study and face
less
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fewer
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 difficulties
in
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with
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language
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 barriers and they have more
opperunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in different sectors.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey shows by CBC
75
Correct word choice
that 75
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percent
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per cent
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people
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of people
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 are
English
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language
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speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
.
Hence
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,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
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Correct article usage
the english
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english
Change the capitalization
English
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language
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 makes
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 to survive in developed countries. Moving towards my opinion,
school
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 needs to organize
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competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
 and
writes
Correct subject-verb agreement
write
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slogan
Fix the agreement mistake
slogans
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 on
walls
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 for
survival
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the survival
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 of
Correct article usage
the nation
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nation
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nation's
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language
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.
Firstly
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, schools need to create
interest
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to speak
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in speaking
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native
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the native
a native
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language
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 and
needs
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need
show examples
 to organize
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Add an article
a competition
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competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
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 on
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school
Correct article usage
the school
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 level, state level and
nation
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national
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 level and give some
prize
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prizes
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
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 winning.
This
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 will create
the
Correct article usage
apply
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interest
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 in
students
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 to learn more about
local
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the local
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language
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.
Moreover
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, schools and government need to write. The slogan on
school
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walls
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 in
native
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the native
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language
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 so
students
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 can read when they see and government need to put sign board in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 local
language
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 so it will not diminish.
For instance
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, Kerala
start
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starts
show examples
 putting the raid and village name
sign
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signs
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 in
local
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the local
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language
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along with
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English
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.
Therefore
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,
competition
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enhance
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enhances
show examples
 the
interest
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
students
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 and slogan helps to preserve the native languages.
To conclude
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, learning
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
English
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 is not bag because it is
worldwide
Correct article usage
a worldwide
show examples
language
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 but
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to take
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
 to preserve the native languages by creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interest
Use synonyms
 in
students
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as well as
Linking Words
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
 on the
walls
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ranjot59 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and provides examples to support your views, which is excellent. However, there's room to strengthen your essay by offering deeper insights and more varied examples.
Language Use
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to improve clarity, and to make your essay more engaging for the reader.
Language Use
Be mindful of spellings ('opperunities' should be 'opportunities', 'writting' should be 'writing', 'raids' should be 'roads', etc.) and grammar to ensure your writing is easily understood.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's structure is clear, but to improve coherence, consider transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea linked to your thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, make more use of linking phrases and words that connect ideas between and within the paragraphs.
Content
You provide a balanced view by discussing both the importance of English and the significance of preserving local languages, which enriches your argument.
Content
The use of examples, like the survey by CBC and the initiative in Kerala, is very good for supporting your main points.
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