IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish you complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter -Say who you are -Give details about the accident -Suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents. Write at least 150 words. You do Not need to write any addresses. Begin you letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#accident #supermarket #manager #-say #-give #-suggest #accidents #addresses #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Georgiana Liu living near one of your branches in downtown Stouffville. I am writing to bring to your attention the accident
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
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 to me inside your supermarket
last
 Sunday afternoon. As usual, I was there to buy some groceries. When I passed through the entrance of the washroom, I suddenly fell slip over the floor cleaner came from the mop. It could be worse if I didn’t protect my neck and head with my hands. Fortunately, I just got small bruising on my rear end from
this
 accident. Your staff
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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apologized to me and
taken
Wrong verb form
took
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 me to the hospital.
However
, I am still in a state of shock because I can’t imagine how it could be worse if
this
 happened to an elder
instead
 of me. I would be grateful if your staff could take
an
Correct article usage
apply
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action to prevent
this
 kind of
accidents
Fix the agreement mistake
accident
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 from happening again by
settling
Correct your spelling
setting
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 a warning sign every time they clean the floor. I trust that you will address
this
 concern as soon as possible.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
show examples
 faithfully, Georgiana Liu
Submitted by georgiana0818 on

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Grammar
Try to avoid small grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles for an even stronger impact.
Sentence Variety
Consider using a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
Task Response
You clearly introduced yourself and described the accident with specific details, which effectively addressed the tasks required.
Task Achievement
Your suggestion for preventing similar accidents was practical and clear, contributing to a strong task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is well-organized, with a logical flow from presenting the incident to offering suggestions for improvement.
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