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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #energy #resources #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 different types of
energy
Use synonyms
 resources from a specific nation, in 1985 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, oil is the most utilized type of
energy
Use synonyms
 in both periods
while
Linking Words
 renewable
energy
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
present
Replace the word
presents
show examples
 the lowest percentage
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both years.
Oil based
Add a hyphen
Oil-based
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 represented 52% of the total in 1985, being the most generated
energy
Use synonyms
 in the country, continuing to lead in 2003, with 39%. In the 80's, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 occupied the second most generated
energy
Use synonyms
 with 22%.
However
Linking Words
, natural gas took over its place in 2003, growing 10% over 18 years. In 2003, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 made up 17%
while
Linking Words
 natural gas percentage was 23%. It is possible to clearly observe that the
percetage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of hydrogen
energy
Use synonyms
 remained the same in both years. In 1985 renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 was only 1%.
However
Linking Words
, renewable resources grew 3% in 2003 when compared to 1985.
Similarly
Linking Words
, coal-based
energy
Use synonyms
 percentage rose from 8% to 13% being the fourth most
comsumed
Correct your spelling
consumed
 type of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by betinhaa00 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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