Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

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Some
people
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believe that coming and going with their
colleagues
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so that they can have leisure
time
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together makes a good friendship
on the other hand
Linking Words
other
people
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think their
privacy
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should be considered. Here I will discuss whether is it a good thing to spend leisure
time
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with a colleague.
However
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, we need to have some
friends
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during
Change preposition
in
show examples
our life
due to
Linking Words
the fact that sometimes we require attention from our
friends
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.
For example
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,psychology scientists have informed on television that most
people
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have some necessities in terms of financial and other problems which should be addressed just by their
friends
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. Individuals usually say their mystery to their
friends
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and they can get a good resolve.
people
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usually believe that if they had consulted with their
friends
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about their problem, they would have a better situation now
.
Correct your spelling
This
this
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idea is common among
people
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in our country At the same
time
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colleagues
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may be a suitable option as a friend.
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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Some individuals believe that having a deep friendship can
a disturbance
Replace the word
disturb
show examples
their
privacy
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.
Correct your spelling
For
for instance
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, most
people
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do not like their
colleagues
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coming into their homes
due to
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the fact that
such
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individuals usually prefer preserving their family's
privacy
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. They like to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their friend just in their office or
work
Change preposition
at work
show examples
. These
people
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argue that if they spend their
time
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with their
colleagues
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more and more, they will find many issues in the future.
This
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group of
people
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have experienced , they say if we had not had deep friendships with our
colleagues
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we would not have found a lot of issues. In conclusion, I can say we should have relations with our
colleagues
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but not very deeply
due to
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maintaining our
privacy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mrhoshangi87 on

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expansion
Try to expand your discussion with more varied examples to support your points thoroughly.
connection
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs to enhance flow.
clarification
Clarifying your stance more distinctly in the introduction and conclusion can strengthen your argument.
balance
You've effectively laid out both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are effectively used to frame your discussion.
relevance
You maintain a clear focus on the question throughout the essay, addressing the topic consistently.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious environment
  • effective collaboration
  • socializing
  • fostering
  • outlet for stress
  • blurring boundaries
  • privacy concerns
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • multinational companies
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • teamwork
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