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Band 6.5

The pie chart beolw three regions ro les procuctive. The table shows how these causes afected the world during the 1990s. Summarise hte information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart beolw three regions ro les procuctive. The table shows how these causes afected the world during the 1990s. Summarise hte information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie graph illustrates the primary causes why farming
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 becomes less fertile. The chart displays how these reasons impacted the three nations of the world in 90’s
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, over-grazing of fields was one of the major reasons for
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 deterioration.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, deforestation in Europe and over-grazing in Oceania contributed to major causes of
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 degradation. Over-grazing, deforestation and
over–cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation

It appears that over–cultivation is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
 make up the vast majority of reasons for
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 degradation. Animal eating too much grass is the top logic, with just over a
third,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

cutting down trees is the
second,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with just under a
third,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

and producing too many crops is the second to
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 reason, with just over a quarter. Europe had just below twice as much degraded
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as Oceania, with 23 % and 13 % respectively In Oceania, over-grazing was the number one reason, with 11.3 %,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 deforestation was the main cause, with 9.8%, in Europe.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in North America, over-cultivation was the primary cause with 11.3%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "third, ".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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