A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree
Some
people
think that high salary
is more important than job satisfaction. In my opinion, occupational gratification more meaning thing
, Correct word choice
meaningful
Change preposition
in
on
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
apply
the
other words, Correct article usage
apply
salary
is not Correct article usage
the whole
whole
thing.
Most of Correct article usage
the whole
people
who attended the Add an article
the people
survay
which tends to clarify what factor Correct your spelling
survey
the
most crucial for employers to choose their Add a missing verb
is the
work
sectors answered and prefered
the atmosphere of Correct your spelling
preferred
work
and work
schedule to salary
.
Working is not just about making money it is said that the second home of the employer. Every person wants to be part of the team, gets respect and listen
Correct subject-verb agreement
listens
some
Change preposition
to some
complimant
from Correct your spelling
complaints
it's
boss and the Replace the word
its
collegues
. These things Correct your spelling
colleagues
effect
directly Correct your spelling
affect
work
efficient
and Replace the word
efficiency
whether
how long he and she Correct word choice
apply
works
current Change the verb form
work
work
. Being honered
in their Correct your spelling
honoured
work
fields or the praise from partners become happy, full of encouragement them.
Another important thing in work
is flexible working ours
. If we Correct your spelling
hours
work
overtime for only salary
, our balance of life will lost and we encounter many problems Correct article usage
a salary
such
as health and relationship issues. The majority of people
tend to work
less time and spend more time their
family, hobbies Change preposition
on their
as well as
healths
. Fix the agreement mistake
health
However
we can earn lots of money as
working Change preposition
by
Correct article usage
the nigth
nigth
shift, we Correct your spelling
night
lost
our health. Doctors believe that night sleep can not be compensated so Wrong verb form
lose
nigth
shift workers are Correct your spelling
night
get
paid more Change the form of the verb
getting
salary
. Unfortunatly
they pay back their Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
instead
of high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
.
To conclude
, Some people
beleive
that Correct your spelling
believe
high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
is more important than work
satisfaction. There are many crucial things such
as good
relationship with their chief and Correct article usage
a good
work
parthers
and working hours so Correct your spelling
partners
i
hardly believe that the Change the capitalization
I
salary
is not more than occupation gratification.Submitted by horloojargal0628 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Try to outline your main ideas clearly in the introduction, making your stance on the topic evident from the beginning.
Grammar
To improve clarity, pay close attention to sentence structure and grammar. Simplify complex sentences if necessary and consider using tools or resources to check grammar.
Content
Support your arguments with specific examples or evidence to enhance the strength of your claims. Even personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios can significantly add to your argument's persuasiveness.
Structure
Work on paragraph structuring by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. This approach helps in making your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and typing errors, as they can distract from your message. Regular proofreading can help reduce these errors.
Content
You've done a wonderful job expressing your personal viewpoint, emphasizing the importance of job satisfaction over high salary.
Content
Your essay discusses relevant aspects like work atmosphere, work-life balance, and health, which are important considerations in job satisfaction.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.