In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening ? What can be done to improve the situation ? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#countries #people #interest #situation

Teachers play a significant role in our lives . Mentors are like our role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

whom we

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to follow

while

growing up .In the midst of change, the interest

of become

Change preposition

in becoming

show examples

a teacher has drastically decreased.

Capitalize word

show examples

current

Correct article usage

the current

show examples

scenario folks are more willing to choose more technical paths as their career like doctors ,

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

, bankers and many more .

The society

Correct article usage

Society

show examples

seems

concerning

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

about

this

assertion . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the matter

as well as

proffer examples to justify the notion .

Submitted by shyamal017 on Thu Apr 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Your introduction provides a good setup to the essay. To improve, clearly state your main arguments in the introduction to give your essay a clear direction right from the start.

Body Content

Try to develop your ideas more fully by providing specific examples or reasons. For example, you can explain why younger people prefer careers in technology over teaching, using real-world observations or data.

Conclusion

Including a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance on the issue would strengthen your essay. A conclusion ties everything together and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your perspective.

Structure

Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help in making your essay more organized and easier to follow.

Language

Use a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your expression. This will also help in making your essay more engaging and persuasive.

Topic Relevance

Your essay topic is relevant and you start with a strong statement about the importance of teachers.

Topic Potential

You've chosen a topic with a lot of potential for discussion, which is great.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

89 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
incentives
career advancement
work-life balance
status
supportive
resources
public perception
mentorship
training programs
profession
autonomy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that concentration has been diminished by the commonness of social networks. To some extent, I think that the instant gratification of human beings is one of the major reasons for that, however,external factors such as stress are stimulating to the shortening of sustained attention as well.
6.5
band
More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?
It is universally acknowledged that technological development has significantly improved the world, leading to a higher standard of living. After fulfilling basic needs such as food and shelter, people in developed countries tend to pursue an upgraded lifestyle, with cars often becoming a primary choice.
4.5
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter •Explain why you want to voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. •Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. •Give details of when you would be available for work.
This letter is pertaining to apply for a unpaid work activity. As I saw the advertisment in newspaper hence I am writing this letter to explain my relevant skills and experience.
5.5
band
In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
To start with, for me, it started to live way harder in modern society because it feels like the government doesn't solve the problems of crimes, murders, youth crime, etc. The government is reducing the money on some other things instead of protecting its population from some dangerous things that are spreading out more and more daily.
6.5
band
Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribe by their doctor for their aliments.
Choosing an effective way of medicine is crucial for many people. Proper medicine treatment brings a person in proper mental and physical conditions which are necessary in terms of social and work adaptivity Although some individuals claim natural treatments such as herbal or massage are preferable, I strongly believe that official medicine is much more effective because of the certain effect and less time recovering.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening ? What can be done to improve the situation ? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribe by their doctor for their aliments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+