In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening ? What can be done to improve the situation ? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Teachers play a significant role in our lives . Mentors are like our role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
whom we
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to follow
while
Linking Words
growing up .In the midst of change, the interest
of become
Change preposition
in becoming
show examples
a teacher has drastically decreased.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
scenario folks are more willing to choose more technical paths as their career like doctors ,
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
, bankers and many more .
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
seems
concerning
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
about
this
Linking Words
assertion . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the matter
as well as
Linking Words
proffer examples to justify the notion .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Your introduction provides a good setup to the essay. To improve, clearly state your main arguments in the introduction to give your essay a clear direction right from the start.
Body Content
Try to develop your ideas more fully by providing specific examples or reasons. For example, you can explain why younger people prefer careers in technology over teaching, using real-world observations or data.
Conclusion
Including a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance on the issue would strengthen your essay. A conclusion ties everything together and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your perspective.
Structure
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help in making your essay more organized and easier to follow.
Language
Use a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your expression. This will also help in making your essay more engaging and persuasive.
Topic Relevance
Your essay topic is relevant and you start with a strong statement about the importance of teachers.
Topic Potential
You've chosen a topic with a lot of potential for discussion, which is great.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • incentives
  • career advancement
  • work-life balance
  • status
  • supportive
  • resources
  • public perception
  • mentorship
  • training programs
  • profession
  • autonomy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: