Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demainds of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world where we are experiencing a technological overture
as of
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at
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the moment, contemporary school teaching is still far behind and falls short of the standards required for the modern working world.
While
ultramodern technologies are popping up each day, the schooling system is still stuck with the conservative educational policy and
subjects
which have become a bit of a drag for the 21st Century student. Not only is
this
obstructive to the growth of nations and societies but
also
psychologically
trammeling
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trammelling
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the socio-psychological thinking of the modern child, the mindset of the modern employee, the livelihood of the modern
laborer
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labourer
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and even the political aspirations of a leader. In wealthier societies like the United States and Europe, cutting-edge technology has already begun to vastly change the job market landscape. From production to computation, the state is tending to move more and more towards automation. How is an employee who still dwells in the old manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
theology supposed to keep up? The only answer is upskilling which would not have been required if his
education
had kept him up with the times. It has been reflected in the workforce of
the
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apply
show examples
thriving Tech companies like Microsoft, IBM,
Salesforce
Correct word choice
and Salesforce
show examples
and even in other non-tech strata like KeepTrucking, KFC etc. Children from schools who are exposed more to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
subjects
have been found to have far more grasping skills and to be more utilitarian employees rather than those who have been greased just with the traditional
subjects
.
This
is because the things taught to them in the early years have a significant impact on their
overall
physical, social and psychological growth.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is why you see far more hackathons in the United States starting from Secondary
Education
rather than in the University years. Because exposure to state-of-the-art
education
is quintessential for a child’s growth. Even politicians who try appealing to people with antiquated ideas that do not resonate with the younger masses find themselves losing popular support.
That is
because
with
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, with
show examples
generations, people’s aspirations change over time. The requirements of the citizen of 2024
is
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are
show examples
far too different from the one in 2004. Even in a span of 20 years, the world has moved ahead so fast that politicians who could not keep up have faded away in the public sphere. A good example is the currently existing opposition in India which continues to pursue
their
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its
show examples
agenda on the obsolete social issues of the 80s. So
although
traditional
subjects
still play a pivotal role in understanding the theories of the past, they prove inadequate in ensuring the survival of the individual in
this
day and age. In order for all of us to grow and prosper, there must be policy changes that must be brought in from the scale of primary
education
to
post graduation
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post-graduation
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that gravitate in
favor
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favour
show examples
of modern
education
rather than the enforcement of traditional studies. And the change for
this
must start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
schools.
Submitted by mail2anubhavt on

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task achievement
Even though your essay engagingly presents a clear argument, including more varied examples directly linked to your main points could further strengthen your position. This approach would provide a clearer illustration of the impact or relevance of modern subjects in education.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sections and within paragraphs. This strategy not only improves readability but also demonstrates advanced language control.
introduction conclusion present
You've successfuly introduced your topic and established a clear position, which lays a solid foundation for your argument.
logical structure
Your essay benefits from a logical structure, guiding the reader seamlessly from one point to the next. This organization strengthens your overall argument.
supported main points
The provided examples and references to societal changes and job market evolution effectively support your main points, making your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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