IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, lots of
people
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 are required to consider changing their occupations.
People
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 can no longer rely on getting incomes and sticking with stable jobs because of recent advanced
technology
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 and unpredictable human disasters. A possible solution to
this
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 dilemma is having
an
Change the word
their
show examples
 own
proffession
Correct your spelling
profession
 which allows
people
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 to
work
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 globally.
This
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 essay will explain
this
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 statement and provide some examples.
Firstly
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, the same working conditions and having the same occupations have become more difficult these days. One of the causes is that during the pandemic in 2019, many
people
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 lost their
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job
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jobs
show examples
 causing
people
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 to have fears
for
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of
show examples
uncertain
Correct article usage
an uncertain
show examples
 future. Another cause is that
technology
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 has rapidly advanced and there are
less
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fewer
show examples
 and
less
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fewer
show examples
 manual workers needed in many industries because computers have taken over many humans' jobs.
For example
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, studies
reveales
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reveal
 that five major companies in Japan have cut down their human resources after they installed new computer systems.
Therefore
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, so many
people
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 were required to change their
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proffessions
Correct your spelling
professions
profession
. To conquer these issues,
people
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 are now required to seek
for
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apply
show examples
a
job
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 that something does not
affect
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affected
show examples
 by the pandemic or
technology
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. One of the possible ideas is
that
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to
show examples
finding
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find
show examples
 a
job
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 which can be done from home so if the pandemic happens,
people
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 can still
work
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 from home. Another solution is to have own
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proffessions
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professions
such
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 as doctors, nurses and other health-related
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proffessions
Correct your spelling
professions
.
For instance
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, in many cases, health
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proffessions
Correct your spelling
professions
professionals
 are able to transfer their qualifications to other countries without a huge effort. Healthcare workers have a huge demand
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
 the world. In conclusion, possible causes of
people
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find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 difficulty
to stay
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in staying
show examples
 their jobs nowadays are the impact of pandemics and advanced
technology
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. Possible solutions to these issues are having a
job
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 that
people
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 can
work
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 from home and some own
proffession
Correct your spelling
profession
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare
work
Use synonyms
.

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accuracy
Careful proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors would enhance clarity. For instance, 'proffession' should be 'profession', and 'reveales' should be 'reveals'.
style
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. Varying between simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging.
development
To strengthen your argument, you could expand on how specific skills or continuous learning can prepare individuals for future employment changes.
support
While the examples provided support your points well, including data or references to studies could add more weight to your claims.
content
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, discussing both causes and solutions to the issue of job security and change.
structure
You have done well in structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow.
examples
Your inclusion of examples, such as the impact of technology on jobs and the adaptability of healthcare professions, helps illustrate your points clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Globalization
  • Outsourcing
  • Freelance work
  • Flexibility
  • Job Security
  • Education reform
  • Critical thinking
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous education
  • Retraining programs
  • Legislation
  • Corporate responsibility
  • Competitive edge
  • Work-life balance
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