In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?
In numerous nations, it is true that
overtime
working
is becoming increasingly prevalent. Replace the word
work
This
essay will first outline the underlying reasons for this
tren
before showing that Correct your spelling
trend
this
is overall
a negative trend.
The first reason why many employees work
overtime
is the financial benefits, as many people want to earn more money to accommodate the basic demands of life
such
as foods
, housing, and healthcare, improving their quality of Fix the agreement mistake
food
life
. Additionally
, investing times
in Fix the agreement mistake
time
work
can help individuals get opportunities to advance their career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
,
because Remove the comma
apply
labors
working a lot can complete their Replace the word
labourers
work
quickly and effectively, making them get the opportunities to advance their career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
This
is particularly the in the fact that a lot of people who spent
more hours Wrong verb form
spend
on
working and Change preposition
apply
work
hard often are responsibility
for important roles in their company and have Replace the word
responsible
the
higher salary, leading to Correct article usage
a
the
high quality of Correct article usage
a
life
.
Those arguing overtime
working
is a positive trend often exaggerate the financial compensation, as Replace the word
work
this
factor leads to a comfortable and fulfilling life
. However
, this
viewpoint fails to consider the exhaustion of employees who trade off their health for work
, as prolonged exposure to excessive work
demands can lead to various health issue
, Change the noun form
issues
such
as hearth
disease or obesity. In the Correct your spelling
heart
worst case
scenario, people earn money just for treating their diseases, resulting in a meaningless Add a hyphen
worst-case
life
. What is more, spending excessive amount
of time on Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
work
can create the
isolation from family and friends, as they Correct article usage
apply
can
not have enough time to take care of their family and stay in touch with their social circle, leading to strained relationships and a sense of loneliness.
In conclusion, Verb problem
do
while
there are several reasons why overtime
working
is more and more common Replace the word
work
among
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the labor
labor
market including the financial compensation and the opportunities to advance the career, I purposefully advocate that Change the spelling
labour
this
is a negative trend because of the exhaustion and isolation of individuals.Submitted by nttung.182 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use a variety of transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Expand on your supporting examples by providing more detailed scenarios or data. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Task Achievement
In your introduction and conclusion, make your stance or viewpoint clearer to solidify the overall argument of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have done well to outline the main reasons for overtime working and its negative implications, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structurally includes both an introduction and a conclusion, effectively framing your discussion and providing a summary of your viewpoint.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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