In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, no doubt advertisement plays an important role in most of the business models. In recent years, to step out from adversaries, enterprises shifted their attention away from research and development, they started to
emphasized
more and more on the innovative side of their Wrong verb form
emphasise
products
. It is disagreed
with Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed
this
development. This
statement will be analyzed by bringing up the topic of deceiving advertisements
, and the shortening product life cycle tendency that happens
recently.
Wrong verb form
has happened
Firstly
, advertisements
are often misleading and triggering, and yet, not illegal. They usually stands
in the grey areas, where the responsibilities are Change the verb form
stand
blur
. Wrong verb form
blurred
For example
, certain companies would exaggerate contents
and effects to induce consumers into buying. In Fix the agreement mistake
content
this
case, they would over emphasize
Add a hyphen
over-emphasize
on
the upgrades from the previous version. Change preposition
apply
While
the actual products
indeed
been renovated, but might just have only slight differences in performance. Add a missing verb
have indeed
Thus
, advertisements
can be fooling
customers in some circumstances, and Wrong verb form
fool
counterfeit
should not be allowed in any Wrong verb form
counterfeiting
forms
.
Fix the agreement mistake
form
Secondly
, business
have found a new way of making profits, which is shortening the life cycle of the Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
products
. The more frequent
one buys, the more earnings companies have. What’s worse, Change the word
frequently
this
tendency also
results in environmental issues. As you might heard before, “fast fashion” is one new term in the fashion industry which indicates people are constantly looking for new items and can easily throw away the old ones to embrace the new ones. As soon as the industry observed this
consumer behavior, they make
their best to grasp the chance. Verb problem
did
However
, this
business model leaves an enormous amount of clothes that are bought and thrown away without environmental considerations,
and leads to a ridiculous amount of Remove the comma
apply
garbages
. In short words, Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
fast changing
world with Add a hyphen
fast-changing
fast changing
Add a hyphen
fast-changing
taste
in Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
products
has leads
to Change the verb form
led
contaminations
Fix the agreement mistake
contamination
to
the planet.
Change preposition
of
To sum up
, the negative impacts have overweigh
the positive impacts. Companies should put focus on real progress and improvements rather than Verb problem
outweighed
advertisements
full on
fake Change preposition
of
contents
. Fix the agreement mistake
content
Also
. It is crucial to take climate change into consideration while
deciding marketing plan. Last
, it is suggested to search Change preposition
for informations
informations
actively by oneself, there is no better way to understand by your own eyes.Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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Introduction & Conclusion
To enhance your essay, try to provide a more detailed introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your view and the essay content more clearly. This will immediately set your stance and summarise your argument more impactfully for the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of sentence structures and transition words to improve the flow and readability of your essay. This will help in connecting your ideas more smoothly and enhance the overall coherence.
Examples
Integrating more specific examples from real-life situations or studies could strengthen your argument further. While you mentioned 'fast fashion,' providing detailed instances or data could make your argument more persuasive and relatable.
Precision in Argument
Be wary of generalizations and aim for precision in your language. For example, when discussing the negative aspects of advertising and product life cycles, provide specific evidence or a balanced view to support your claims without oversimplification.
Understanding of Task
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt by discussing the emphasis on 'newness' in advertisements and its implications, showing a clear understanding of the task.
Clear Stance
You articulated a clear stance against the argument, which is consistent throughout the essay, enhancing the coherence of your argument.
Depth of Argument
Your discussion on environmental impact and consumer culture adds depth to your argument, illustrating an ability to connect the topic to broader social issues.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example