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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows thefts per thousands vehicles in four European countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph shows thefts per thousands vehicles in four European countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information and make comparison where relevant.
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The chart illustrates the number of vehicles stolen in four different European nations between the
timeperiod
Correct your spelling
time period
 of 1990 and 1999. Interesting to note that Great Britain's score started out the highest at somewhere just below 20, yet it experienced the sharpest of drops to around slightly above 15
while
Linking Words
 France which was at the bottom in the beginning at a position slightly above 5,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had a steady a rise to the score of below 15. If we take a closer look at the graph, we can see that Great Britain's score had dropped significantly in 1992, but still stayed above 15 and it continued to rise slowly before falling down again to slightly above 15. France
however
Linking Words
, had seen only a rise in
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 numbers, from 5 to 10 in 1995 before the line became monotone for 3 years before rising again. Sweden began at the third highest rank
however
Linking Words
, it had a slow dip from the beginning, the
sitiuation
Correct your spelling
situation
 seemed to change in 1995
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it rose slightly, but it decreased again until reaching almost the same point as Canada, somewhere above 5. Speaking of Canada,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 line was almost monotone, except
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 beginning where it had a gradual decrease from 1990 to 1993, after which it
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slowly
risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number close to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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