Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. In this a positive or negative development?

#people #time #games #development

Nowadays a fiction of young generation

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

playing different types of electronic

games

also

they are spending

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

time

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

.Now I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that it has positive and negative sides and I explain both sides. On the one hand, most of

Add an article

the pupi

show examples

pupi ls

Correct your spelling

pupils

show examples

are

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computerized

games

.Now that they are very

convenience

Replace the word

convenient

show examples

,pupils are playing it.If they play computerized

games

with their friends ,they will be happy .

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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they are not boring .

Besides

that digital

games

have comforts to young people .

For example

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

earn money from it .

Thus

I played different kinds of electronic

games

with my siblings in my childhood .Now that l have many lessons , I do not play computerized

games

On the other hand

, Now

Correct article usage

the

show examples

fiction of digital

games

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

impetously

Correct your spelling

impetuously

taken over the world .

Then

pupils

are playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

games

Change preposition

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

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tbeir

Correct your spelling

their

free time. From my

prospective

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perspective

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this

pastime

are

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very harmful to

people

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people's

show examples

health . They play

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

games

from

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show examples

their phone and

this

phone light

is impacting to

Wrong verb form

impacts

show examples

their eye and they

will be

Verb problem

become

show examples

ill. If they have free time , they must

doing

Change the verb form

be doing

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their tasks or

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

This

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

argument that they learn useful

informathions

Correct your spelling

information

from their phone or computer .

For example

Anerican

Correct your spelling

American

young people are not playing computerized

games

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they are learning

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

online education .

Evidently

Add a comma

Evidently,

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they are very clever and

abilitily

Correct your spelling

ability

. In conclusion ,

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

their choices about digital

games

or education. If they choose education ,their parents are exulting from their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

choices

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Sun Apr 14 2024

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: • Say that you liked their photos of your family • Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event • Give them the details of the event.

In Some Countries, Criminal Trials Are Shown On Television For Public. Do The Advantages Of This Outweigh The Disadvantages

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

The claim that animals have rights has been subjected as a matter of debate since the 1970’s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned?