Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
contemporary world , some
universities
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university
show examples
students
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want to learn additional
subject
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subjects
show examples
to their main studies
while
other argues that more time should
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
on studying for a qualification.
This
essay will acknowledge the validity of
this
statement and
elaborates
Correct subject-verb agreement
elaborate
show examples
on my reason. On one hand, it is believed by
students
that learning optional subjects to their main course will give
ample
Correct pronoun usage
them ample
show examples
knowledge about
other area
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another area
other areas
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of the field .
In addition
to that,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic information is needed in our daily life which makes it easy to learn and teach to others .
For example
,when you are doing
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science ,
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
you
added
Wrong verb form
add
show examples
English and Accounting which helps to improve communication skills ,
presentation
Correct word choice
and presentation
show examples
skills ,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
accounting gives basic accounting,
Correct word choice
and calculation
show examples
calculation
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calculations
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in our daily
life
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lives
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.
On the other hand
,
significant
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a significant
show examples
amount of time
spending
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spent
show examples
on studying for qualification will make you expertise in that particular field . Science
students
spend enough time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing different kinds of experiments and learning formulas to
applied
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. More
over
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apply
show examples
this
will
makes
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make
show examples
the
students
acquire more information
instead
of focusing on
other subject
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another subject
other subjects
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. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
,if a person
choose
Change the verb form
chooses
show examples
accounting as
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
subject , he should focus on doing
Correct article usage
a bachelors
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bachelors
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bachelor's
show examples
in Accounting and
Correct article usage
a Masters
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Masters
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Master
show examples
in accounting which enables them to become specialised in charted accounting.
To sum up
, following the perusal of both views doing additional
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
will help to acquire and explore
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
.It is
lucid
Correct word choice
clear
show examples
that specialised in
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
course will have better employment opportunities and growth.
Submitted by nikhilguni on

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Introduction
Try to ensure a clear and structured introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement more succinctly.
Sentence Variety
Focus on varying your sentence structures to add clarity and sophistication to your arguments.
Linking Words
For a higher score in coherence, make sure to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly transition between ideas.
Examples
To improve task response, elaborate your examples with more detail to clearly illustrate your points.
Conclusion
Work on creating a more concise and powerful conclusion that clearly summarizes your arguments and states your opinion more decisively.
Task Response
You did well to discuss both views as the task requested.
Examples
The essay includes a variety of examples which helps to support your points.
Content
Your essay shows a good attempt at discussing the topic from multiple perspectives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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