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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

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Some countries have introduced
laws
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 to limit the working
hours
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 that an employer can ask from an
employee
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. Why are these
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law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 introduced? Is
this
Linking Words
 a positive or negative trend? Many countries have implemented
laws
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 to restrict the maximum working
hours
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 that an employer can request from an
employee
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. There are many reasons
as of
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apply
show examples
why
this
Linking Words
law
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are
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is
show examples
 being introduced, including
reduction
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a reduction
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 in
burnout
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the burnout
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 population and protection of labour
right
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rights
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. I believe these
laws
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 will
bring
Verb problem
have
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 a positive impact
to
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Health and mental
issue
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issues
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 will arise if people
works
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work
show examples
 for
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an entended
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entended
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extended
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 period of
time
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.
According to
Linking Words
 recent research, half of the
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employee
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employees
show examples
 who worked over 38
hours
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 per week experienced
in
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apply
show examples
burnout
symtoms
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symptoms
such
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 as weight loss and depression. These health concerns
attributed
Add a missing verb
are attributed
show examples
 to them being in a stressful
work
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 environment for long
hours
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 without having proper rest. The introduction of
work
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hours
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 limitation can prevent employers require their workers
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work
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to work
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 more than reasonable
hours
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 and allow
employees
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 to have enough
time
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 away from works, which reduce the chances of them being burnout. Enhancement of coverage in Labour
laws
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 is
also
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 another significant reason to explain why these
laws
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 are necessary. Labour
laws
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 have been created in order to prevent working
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
receipant
Correct your spelling
recipient
receipt
 of unfair treatment from their bosses. Some notable example includes minimum wages and workplace discrimination
law
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. Enforcement of maximum working
hours
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measure
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measures
show examples
 will
further
Linking Words
 increase the coverage of protection to the
employees
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 and
also
Linking Words
 set up a
resonable
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reasonable
work
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hours
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guileline
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guideline
guidelines
 for the employers. Numerous
of
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apply
show examples
positive impacts can be made by the implementation of these measures. Improvement of
work
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-life balance is one of them. Many people consider
work
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is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 life as they are
being
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apply
show examples
required to put other things aside and focus
at
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on
show examples
work
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 only.
However
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, they ignore the fact that
work
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 is only one of the many aspects
in
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of
show examples
 life. By working
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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 amount of
hours
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 per week,
employees
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 can spend more
time
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into
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in
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 different areas
such
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 as family, friends and personal
interest
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interests
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.
In addition
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, the
laws
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 will
also
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 increase
work
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 productivity in
long
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the long
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 run. It is an unbelievable but undeniable fact that productivity will drop when a person
worked
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works
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 for
than
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apply
show examples
certain
hours
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. It is
being
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apply
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prooven
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proven
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 by a famous economic theory -
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Law
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the Law
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 of Diminishing Marginal Return. The theory
explained
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explains
show examples
 that working for excess
hours
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 will eventually slow down
thier
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their
 output.
Therefore
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, limiting the working
hours
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 can ensure that
Use synonyms
Change noun form
employee
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employee's
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employee
show examples
poductivity
Correct your spelling
productivity
 remains
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at
show examples
in
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at
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 a high level. In
summaries
Fix the agreement mistake
summary
show examples
, the
laws
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 are
being
Verb problem
becoming
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 popular
amongs
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among
amongst
 countries to address
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employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 health concerns and protect
workers
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workers'
worker's
show examples
right
Replace the word
rights
show examples
. It
also
Linking Words
 encourages
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work-lift
Correct your spelling
work-life
show examples
 balance
at
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and at
show examples
 the same
time
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 people's productivity.

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Language Accuracy
Ensure to proofread your text for minor spelling or typographical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism. For example, 'entended' should be 'extended', 'receipant' should be 'recipient', and 'guileline' should be 'guideline'.
Development and Support
Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While you mention research and economic theory, directly citing studies or statistics could strengthen your argument.
Text Cohesion
For coherence, you've nicely structured your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. You could improve by making smoother transitions between ideas with varied and precise linking words.
Task Response
You effectively addressed both aspects of the question by explaining why laws to limit work hours are introduced and arguing that this is a positive trend.
Essay Structure
Your essay provides a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarize your main points well.
Content Balance
You did a great job of presenting a balanced view by discussing both the reasons for the introduction of work hour limits and their positive outcomes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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