IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

"Many people believe that the government should invest more in public transportation to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take more responsibility for their own transportation needs and that the government should not spend more on public transportation. What is your opinion? Discuss both views and give your own perspective." This prompt asks you to explore both sides of the argument and then express your own opinion on the topic.

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In today's modern era, the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest in public
transportation
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 to reduce
traffic
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 congestion and air
pollution
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.
However
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, others argue that individuals should take more responsibility for their own
transportation
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 needs. In
this
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 essay, I will justify both perspectives before presenting my opinion. To commence with, the investment in public
transportation
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 to reduce
traffic
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 congestion and air
pollution
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.
For example
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, the
government
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 should prioritize funding for public
transport
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 to alleviate
traffic
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 jams because improved public
transport
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 networks encourage citizens to shift from private vehicles which leads to reducing emissions.
Moreover
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, public transit is often more accessible and affordable which benefits lower-income residents.
As a result
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,
government
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 expenditures on
transportation
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 can contribute to job creation and economic growth. Moving ahead, the individual responsibility for
transportation
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 is to encourage carpooling, walking and cycling could diminish reliance on public
transport
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.
For instance
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, technological advancements like electric cars and ride-sharing apps can reduce
pollution
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.
Furthermore
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, people often prefer the convenience and comfort of their own vehicles over public ones.
Therefore
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,
traffic
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 jams are more and the quality of air is
also
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 got contaminated. Noise
pollution
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 is
also
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 the cause of
transportation
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.
Additionally
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, compressed natural gas is used as a fuel in cars to reduce
pollution
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 in the modern day. In conclusion, maintaining a balance between
government
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 investment and individual actions is ideal for a sustainable future. Public
transport
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 must be reliable, efficient, and well-connected to be a viable choice for most people. Governments should incentivize the use of greener personal
transport
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 options alongside improving public
transport
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.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be clearer in stating the position you'll take about the issue. Try explicitly mentioning your opinion in the introduction.
Task Achievement
While you provided examples, some points could benefit from deeper elaboration, especially on how public transportation might be directly linked to reducing air pollution.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your paragraphs to help guide the reader through your argument. Transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that could be polished for better clarity, e.g., 'traffic jams are more' could be 'traffic jams have increased'.
Task Achievement
You've done well to address both sides of the argument and presented a conclusion that considers both perspectives, which is essential for this type of essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows logically, with a clear structure that includes introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The overall organization is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Air pollution
  • Sustainable
  • Infrastructure
  • Carpooling
  • Emission reduction
  • Public transit
  • Economic growth
  • Ride-sharing
  • Efficiency
  • Accessibility
  • Lower-income residents
  • Shift from private vehicles
  • Job creation
  • Technological advancements
  • Incentivize
  • Feasible
  • Reliable
  • Viable
  • Alleviate
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