IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart provides data on the different methods of
transportation
Use synonyms
 used by a country's offspring in order to get to school and how frequently they were used, over 20 years. The graph clearly indicates relationships between a decline in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of environmentally friendly methods and public
transportation
Use synonyms
 by owning a personal vehicle in the household.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the number of car passenger children grew dramatically after they were first introduced in the graph in 1990, jumping from 4
million
Use synonyms
 trips per year to almost 11
million
Use synonyms
 in just 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the main method of travelling which was walking, peaked in 1990 and has been in a drastic fall since
then
Linking Words
. Another significant change is the number of cyclists, a device very common in each family,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 6
million
Use synonyms
 trips were made by children in order to get to their destination ,
has
Correct pronoun usage
which has
show examples
also
Linking Words
 been in a decline with the number of trips reaching 2
million
Use synonyms
. A well-known way of
transportation
Use synonyms
 in schools,
bus
Use synonyms
 and a combination of walking and
bus
Use synonyms
 have not faced a magnificent change compared to other modes.
With buses
Change preposition
Buses
show examples
 only dropped from over 6
million
Use synonyms
 to almost 5
million
Use synonyms
 from 1990 to 2010, and the mixture of walking and
bus
Use synonyms
falling
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 from almost 6
million
Use synonyms
 to 3
million
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the popular methods of
transportation
Use synonyms
 during 1990 were much more environmentally friendly and cleaner,
such
Linking Words
 as walking, cycling and taking the
bus
Use synonyms
. But eventually were replaced by personal vehicles in 2010. But not totally, only reduced.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, million, bus with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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