IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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With more
students
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at
university
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, there are variety of
subjects
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can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
select
Wrong verb form
be selected
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. Whether
students
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 should spend more time drilling their
core
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subjects
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 or learn from elective
subjects
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 based on their own
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 become a hot controversy.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
university
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students
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 should receive knowledge by their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.
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University
Add an article
The university
show examples
 is not a vocational training council. Teenagers should
allow
Wrong verb form
be allowed
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 to pick the subject which is
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 for them. Especially, all-rounded development
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been encouraged in current society.
For instance
Linking Words
, I studied
in
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apply
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food science during
Correct pronoun usage
my bachelor
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bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree. I have
chose
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chosen
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chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
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 history as my elective subject. It
induces
Wrong verb form
induced
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 my
interested
Replace the word
interest
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 in Mao Zhe
Dong
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Dong's
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 life and discover
the
Correct article usage
a
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 common topic with
father
Correct pronoun usage
my father
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. It has
boarden
Correct your spelling
broadened
 my
horizon
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horizons
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 which let me know more about the
root
Fix the agreement mistake
roots
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 of China.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
studied
Wrong verb form
studying
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 your own interest areas in
university
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 is totally reasonable.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to stay
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
while
Linking Words
 studying
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 qualification.
Take
Wrong verb form
Taking
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 place in professional
study
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 is never a simple task. Sometimes, they are
monitor
Wrong verb form
monitored
show examples
 by their council and requesting they need to keep improving their qualification. So, they need to spend most of their effort on time-consuming
core
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subjects
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.
However
Linking Words
, keeping a balance is playing an important role to succeed.
For instance
Linking Words
, I have a friend that are
Use synonyms
study in
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 dentistry. He
is requires
Change the verb form
is required
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 to have
examination
Add an article
an examination
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 every year. As we all know,
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study in medical
Replace the word
studying medicine
show examples
have
Verb problem
requires
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 tremendous knowledge need to be familiar
with
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apply
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but he
still
Add a missing verb
was still
show examples
 able to learn instrumental music and history during his studies. So, professional
students
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spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time to learn their interests is achievable. In conclusion, despite the fact that some people suggest it is important to
give
Verb problem
spend
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 all time studying
in
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apply
show examples
core
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subjects
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. Positive outcomes of
study
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 in additional
subjects
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 are clearly more than drilling hard in
core
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Focus on clarifying your main points more clearly and directly to enhance the reader's understanding. Make sure each paragraph directly addresses the topic and contributes to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Use clear and concise sentences, ensuring that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to another.
language usage
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Varied sentence structures and precise word choices can significantly improve the readability and effectiveness of your essay.
language usage
Remember to proofread your essay to correct typographical and grammatical errors. These small mistakes can distract from the strength of your argument and reduce the overall clarity of your communication.
task achievement
You included relevant examples from personal experience, which enriches your essay and provides a strong basis for your arguments.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear overview of the essay's direction and key points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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