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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

#graduates #first #job #corporation #work #company #contrast #choices
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In the inflation epoch, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology advances everything becomes so expensive
therefore
 people
runs
Change the verb form
run
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 after
make
Change the verb form
making
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 money to lead a well-settled Lifestyle . In the midst of change , it can be seen that people like to start working as soon as they graduate . In the present scenario,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society has been divided into two groups as per
distinct
Correct article usage
the distinct
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 mindsets of different peoples . A colossal number of folks
willing
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are willing
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 to choose big companies as their first preference to work meanwhile in the country , some communities
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to work at small companies first to gain experience . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion . In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my notion .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Introduction Clarity
Consider providing a clearer introduction by directly addressing the topic and stating the main points you will discuss. This can help create a stronger foundation for your essay.
Paragraphing
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas or sections in your essay. This can greatly improve the readability and structure of your work.
Use of Examples
For a more compelling argument, include specific examples to support your points. This can be from personal experience, observations, or credible sources.
Conclusion Strength
Ensure your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This helps reinforce your argument and leaves a strong final impression.
Clarity of Expression
Aim for clearer and more direct statements to express your ideas. This can enhance the coherence of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow.
Topic Understanding
You've chosen an engaging topic and shown an understanding of the different perspectives people have regarding their choice of workplace after graduation.
Relevance of Topic
Your essay initiates an important discussion on the value of starting one's career at a large versus a small company, which is relevant in today's economic climate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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