Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Human development is related to many factors.
However
, some
people
believe that parents play the most essential role.
While a
Correct word choice
A
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number of
people
claim that, there are numerous things
such
as
,
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apply
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television and
friend
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friends
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which have the most significant
effect
on a child’s development.
This
paper intends to discuss
about
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apply
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both perspectives among with my personal and logical
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
. It is irrefutable, that Parents have
direction
Replace the word
a direct
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effect
on
child
Add an article
the child
a child
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,
improvement
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and improvement
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because
,
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apply
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mom and dad are the first teachers of
baby
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the baby
a baby
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.
In addition
, a child before going to school
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
almost his all
time
with his parent.
Moreover
, mother and father are the closest
people
to children
also
, kids obey
from
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apply
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their parent’s
order
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orders
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more than everyone.
Furthermore
, childhood is
period
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a period
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in that
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that
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which
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kid
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kids
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learn and copy whatever
he
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they
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sees
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see
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and
the
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apply
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toddler
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toddlers
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spend much
time
at home
thus
, kids learn a variety of positive and negative things from their
supervisor
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supervisors
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.
On the contrary
side, many
people
think that there are some other reasons that influence
child’s
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a child’s
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progression
include
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including
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television and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. In today’s technology era,
majority
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the majority
show examples
of children have access to television or
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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also
they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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a lot of
time
on it
accordingly
, they will learn many new things and develop.
Beside of
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Besides
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technology, friends
also
play a crucial role in
teens
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teens'
teen's
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improvement because
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
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is
Verb problem
years are
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a vital period meanwhile teenagers
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
most of their
time
with friends and teens will decide about
entire
Correct pronoun usage
their entire
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Having good friends will help them to reach success
while
having bad
friend
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friends
show examples
will destroy their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, both sides are important
on
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in
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baby’s
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a baby’s
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development. But in my opinion and
due to
mentioned
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the mentioned
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reason in
this
essay
effect
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effects
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of
friend
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friends
show examples
and technology outweigh over
parent’s
Change noun form
parents
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effect
.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Complete Response
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Complete Response
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Introduction & Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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