Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Human development is related to many factors.
However
, some
people
believe that parents play the most essential role.
While a
Correct word choice
A
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number of
people
claim that, there are numerous things
such
as
,
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apply
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television and
friend
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friends
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which have the most significant
effect
on a child’s development.
This
paper intends to discuss
about
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apply
show examples
both perspectives among with my personal and logical
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
. It is irrefutable, that Parents have
direction
Replace the word
a direct
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effect
on
child
Add an article
the child
a child
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,
improvement
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and improvement
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because
,
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apply
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mom and dad are the first teachers of
baby
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the baby
a baby
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.
In addition
, a child before going to school
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
almost his all
time
with his parent.
Moreover
, mother and father are the closest
people
to children
also
, kids obey
from
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apply
show examples
their parent’s
order
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orders
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more than everyone.
Furthermore
, childhood is
period
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a period
show examples
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in that
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that
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which
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kid
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kids
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learn and copy whatever
he
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they
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sees
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see
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and
the
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apply
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toddler
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toddlers
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spend much
time
at home
thus
, kids learn a variety of positive and negative things from their
supervisor
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supervisors
show examples
.
On the contrary
side, many
people
think that there are some other reasons that influence
child’s
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a child’s
show examples
progression
include
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including
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television and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. In today’s technology era,
majority
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the majority
show examples
of children have access to television or
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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also
they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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a lot of
time
on it
accordingly
, they will learn many new things and develop.
Beside of
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Besides
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technology, friends
also
play a crucial role in
teens
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teens'
teen's
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improvement because
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
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is
Verb problem
years are
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a vital period meanwhile teenagers
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
most of their
time
with friends and teens will decide about
entire
Correct pronoun usage
their entire
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Having good friends will help them to reach success
while
having bad
friend
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friends
show examples
will destroy their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, both sides are important
on
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in
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baby’s
Correct article usage
a baby’s
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development. But in my opinion and
due to
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
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reason in
this
essay
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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of
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
and technology outweigh over
parent’s
Change noun form
parents
show examples
effect
.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Specific Examples
Work on clarifying your arguments by providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your writing by making your examples more relevant and convincing.
Logical Structure
Improve coherence by connecting your ideas more smoothly. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure that your essay flows well from one idea to the next, making it easier for the reader to understand your points.
Introduction & Conclusion
To enhance cohesion, pay close attention to paragraph structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the paragraph or transitions to the next point.
Complete Response
Ensure your conclusion clearly reflects your opinion and summarises the main points discussed. This will make your stance more memorable to the reader.
Complete Response
You have effectively covered a broad range of points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial influence
  • learning environment
  • essential life skills
  • instill morals and manners
  • external factors
  • introduce to a variety of cultures
  • social skills
  • monitor the content
  • maintain a central role
  • exposure to different ideas
  • complement parental teaching
  • broader understanding
  • critical thinking skills
  • foundational groundwork
  • prominent influence
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