Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion.

Nowadays, some
people
believe that
History
is an essential subject at school. Some others think that in today’s contemporary era learning science and technology
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more beneficial than reading past. In
continue
Wrong verb form
continuing
show examples
,
this
essay will analyze both perspectives and
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
my personal opinion
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
logical
Correct article usage
a logical
show examples
conclusion. Presently, some
people
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
learning
History
as crucial as scientific and technological
subjects
. They say by knowing about
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
it is possible to be informed about
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
and traditions of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Moreover
,
History
can be a good teacher that, we can learn from it means by having historical knowledge we will not repeat those mistakes that
people
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the past have committed.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the dorsal side, some other
people
say today is
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era, and reading
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
is only
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time. They claim,
studying
Correct word choice
that studying
show examples
scientific
subjects
and digital literacy is much useful in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
History
.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person who is able to use
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
can serve
people
better than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person who knows
History
.
In addition
, reading
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
might be
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
of some social, racial, religious and lingual conflicts.
Also
by studying
History
Add a comma
History,
show examples
you have
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
chance
to gain
Change preposition
of gaining
show examples
a suitable job in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
studying digital skills. In conclusion, some
people
value reading
History
as equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
subjects
but
some other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
reject
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
and believe that studying
history
only
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
our time without any profit. Both sides have undeniable reasons. But
according to
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
points in
this
essay and my personal and logical judgment, the advantages of studying scientific
subjects
and technology outweigh over pros of studying
History
.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, work on linking ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs for better flow.
Task Achievement
Try to incorporate more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Language Use
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enrich your essay and make it more compelling.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Task Response
You've successfully presented both sides of the argument, indicating a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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