IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is imporatnt for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?What sort of punishment should parents and teahcers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#imporatnt #children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teahcers #behaviour
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Children are the most powerful asset of a nation . They are the backbone of a society . children are pliable
therefore
 it's our duty to mould them in a good way so that they can lead a well-settled Lifestyle . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe that it is crucial to learn the difference between right and wrong
furthermore
 if needed parents or teachers are allowed to punish offspring to teach them about right behaviour . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion. Somehow , I vehemently Agree with the notion. In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the matter
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my point of view
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Example & Elaboration
Expand your essay to include specific examples and further explanation to support your viewpoint. This will help clarify and strengthen your argument.
Structure
Work on developing a clearer essay structure by introducing distinct paragraphs for your introduction, main arguments, and conclusion. This will enhance the readability and organization of your text.
Task Response
It's important to ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the task. While you've shared your agreement with the notion, consider discussing the types of punishment that should be allowed, as per the essay prompt.
Vocabulary & Expression
To improve your score, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary. Avoid repetition and strive for clear expression of ideas.
Thesis Statement
You've introduced the topic and clearly stated your opinion, which establishes a good basis for your argument.
Language Use
You've demonstrated a good level of language capability with complex sentence structures, even though there's room for vocabulary enhancement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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