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Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of people in Uk in 2004

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of people in Uk in 2004
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #people #uk
The bar graph illustrates the
percenatge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of expenditure on three categories
food
 and
drinks
,
restaurants
 and
hotels
 and
entertainment
 among different
age
 groups of
people
such
 as
under
Correct pronoun usage
those under
show examples
 30, 31-45, 46-60, 61-75 and above 76 in 2004 in
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
.
Overall
, the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 on
food
 and
drinks
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 very high in all
age
 groups except the
people
 who are under 30. The money spent on
food
 and
drinks
 and
entertainment
 was very high in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 with other leisures. The
people
 whose
age
 is more than 76 spent almost 23% of their income on
food
 and
drinks
 and 14% on
entertainment
whereas
 the individuals who are under 30 spent their money more on
restaurants
 and
hotels
 almost 15% rather than
food
 and
drinks
 and
entertainment
. The
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 31-45 spent almost equal part of
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all activities, approximately 14% on
food
 and
drinks
 and
restaurants
 and
hotels
 and 8% on
entertainment
.
Moreover
, the
age
 group between 61 to 75
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
show examples
20
Change preposition
by 20
show examples
% on
food
 and
drinks
 and
entertainment
 and 2-3%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
restaurants
 and
hotels
.
Submitted by maliksheetal32 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, drinks, restaurants, hotels, entertainment, age, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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