IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of people in Uk in 2004

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of people in Uk in 2004
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #people #uk
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The bar graph illustrates the
percenatge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of expenditure on three categories
food
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 and
drinks
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,
restaurants
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 and
hotels
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 and
entertainment
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 among different
age
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 groups of
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
under
Correct pronoun usage
those under
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 30, 31-45, 46-60, 61-75 and above 76 in 2004 in
Correct article usage
the Uk
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Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 on
food
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 and
drinks
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 very high in all
age
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 groups except the
people
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 who are under 30. The money spent on
food
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 and
drinks
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 and
entertainment
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 was very high in
compare
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comparison
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 with other leisures. The
people
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 whose
age
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 is more than 76 spent almost 23% of their income on
food
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 and
drinks
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 and 14% on
entertainment
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whereas
Linking Words
 the individuals who are under 30 spent their money more on
restaurants
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 and
hotels
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 almost 15% rather than
food
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 and
drinks
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 and
entertainment
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. The
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 31-45 spent almost equal part of
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
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for
Change preposition
on
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 all activities, approximately 14% on
food
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 and
drinks
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 and
restaurants
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 and
hotels
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 and 8% on
entertainment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
age
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 group between 61 to 75
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
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20
Change preposition
by 20
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% on
food
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 and
drinks
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 and
entertainment
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 and 2-3%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
restaurants
Use synonyms
 and
hotels
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by maliksheetal32 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, drinks, restaurants, hotels, entertainment, age, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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