IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#countries #government #prioritizes #growth #concerns
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In the present world, countries are constantly competing to lead the world.
Consequently
, some might seek
growth
 in economic or
finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 industries, and even consider them as
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 priority to gain more power. Meanwhile, the other dimensions which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the same importance are often overlooked. It
is disagreed
Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed
show examples
 with
this
 non-comprehensive policy, and it will be analyzed by discussing the core value of the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and some consequences
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
caring
Correct article usage
a caring
show examples
 economy could lead us to.
Firstly
, in the long history, leaders
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 created to stand out and take care of every citizen in their territory. Nowadays,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
stands
Correct subject-verb agreement
stand
show examples
 for the same purpose.
As a result
, it is the authorities' responsibility to not only focus on specific
group's
Change noun form
groups
show examples
 of benefits but
also
 look after the minorities.
For instance
, civilians with lower income or special financial conditions should be granted
with
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apply
show examples
more
resoucres
Correct your spelling
resources
 and
helps
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help
show examples
. It is important to provide
a different levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
different levels
a different level
show examples
 of assistance
according to
 respective situations.
Thus
, It is needed to remind the governments from time to time what
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they serve for.
Secondly
, there is
no thing
Correct your spelling
nothing
show examples
 that comes with no cost.
As in
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
 case, I would say the consequences that economic
growth
 brought
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 impacted strongly to our environment.
For example
, China has been
arising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 drastically in
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 numbers.
However
,
according to
 recent reports, China
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 responsible for over a quarter of the total
emmision
Correct your spelling
emission
last
 year. It is not worth it when we sacrifice our one and only planet with our greed.
Therefore
, it seems that the contamination has already
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighed
show examples
 the
growth
.
To sum up
, even though
growth
 always comes with prosperity and
thriveness
Correct your spelling
thrives
, it is still important that the authorities should never forget: it is their core mission to offer
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 to anyone in need.
Moreover
, environmental impacts are
also
 one factor
requires
Correct pronoun usage
that requires
show examples
 a second thought when drafting policies.
Submitted by lil40629890 on

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Content & Development
Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses specific advantages and disadvantages of prioritizing economic growth. Expanding on each point with more detailed examples would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Transition sentences between paragraphs can make your argument flow more smoothly, helping to connect the ideas more coherently.
Language Accuracy
Review and edit for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance clarity and professionalism of the essay.
Engagement
Engaged with the topic thoughtfully, presenting a critical perspective on government priorities.
Structure
Structured the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is effective for reader understanding.
Use of Examples
Used examples to support assertions, which helps in illustrating your points, even if more specificity could offer further insight.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritizes
  • economic growth
  • employment opportunities
  • public services
  • tax revenues
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • industrial expansion
  • income inequality
  • wealth accrues
  • neglect
  • social issues
  • metrics
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