IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph compares employment rates in three sector of economy, in the UK, 2000-2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares employment rates in three sector of economy, in the UK, 2000-2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given graph represents the amount of
hire
Fix the agreement mistake
hires
show examples
 in three parts of the economy in the UK, over a ten
Use synonyms
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 period from 2000 until 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 considerable growth in the employment of both the self-employed and the public
sector
Use synonyms
, whilst the employment rate of the private
sector
Use synonyms
 fell gradually. Another interesting point is that the public
sector
Use synonyms
 had the maximum hire rate in 2010,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, in 2000 and 2003, the self-employment
sector
Use synonyms
 had the minimum rate. Looking at the details, as regards the public
sector
Use synonyms
, having remained stable in the first two
years
Use synonyms
 by around 38 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 there was grew slightly for three
years
Use synonyms
, at which it dropped in 2006,
then
Linking Words
 the figure increased gradually to just over 50. If look at self-employment, started at approximately 18 in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 increased slightly to 20 in 2002, for the next year, the figure fell to around 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2003. There went up slightly to 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and following that it remained stable for the
last
Linking Words
 year in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the private
sector
Use synonyms
 started at around 48 per
cent
Use synonyms
 which was the biggest number in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 it decreased gradually for the next two
years
Use synonyms
, having remained stable between 2002 and 2003, next it gradually decreased to just under 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2008,
then
Linking Words
 there was a plunge in 2009 , and from 2009 to 2010 there was negligible fall.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, sector, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: