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Writing Samples
Band 5

Percentage of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010.

#percentage #electricity #production #fuel #source #france
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The provided pie charts compare the percentage of various fuel
sources
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 in
electricity
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 production in France in the space of two decades( in 1990 and 2010).
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 the proportion of nuclear power in producing
electricity
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 enhanced substantially but the reverse was true for the remaining
sources
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,namely coal,
oil
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, natural gas, and
hydropower
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. In detail, it can be seen that in 1990, the
electricity
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 generation was too differential among 4
sources
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, with
hydropower
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 contributing the least.Coal and
oil
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 were the main
sources
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 of
electricity
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, each representing 28%.
This
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 was distinctly followed by
oil
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 with 22% and
then
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 nuclear power with 17%.Notably, only 6% of
electricity
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 came from
hydropower
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.
However
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, by 2010, the proportions in the mix had changed considerably.Nuclear power became the major
electricity
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 generation source, the share of which rose to a staggering 67%.
By contrast
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, the percentage of coal and
oil
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 dropped noticeably to the same 13%
while
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 that of natural gas witnessed a significant fall, declining to just 4%.
Last
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 but not least, the contribution of
hydropower
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 became even smaller, consisting of 2%.
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Variety of expression
Be mindful of repetition and strive for a variety of expressions. Instead of saying 'the percentage of' or 'the proportion of' multiple times, consider using synonyms like 'the share of' or 'the fraction of' to add variety and sophistication to your writing.
Transitional phrases
To enhance coherence, clearly signify transitions between the discussion of different fuel sources. This can be achieved through phrases like 'Turning to...' or 'Regarding...', which help the reader follow your analysis more seamlessly.
Comparison techniques
For an even richer analysis, consider introducing comparison phrases more frequently. Words like 'compared to', 'in contrast to', or 'whereas' can effectively highlight differences and changes over time, contributing to a clearer presentation of data.
Accuracy
Pay attention to accuracy in details and descriptions. Ensure that the data presented is consistent with the charts, especially when discussing specific percentages and their changes over time. Double-check for any discrepancies to maintain credibility.
Conclusion
Try to introduce a brief overview or summary in the conclusion, encapsulating the main trends and changes observed. This strengthens your essay by reinforcing the key points you've made and providing a clear takeaway for the reader.
Understanding of main trends
Effectively captured the overall trend in the shift of electricity production sources in France.
Detailing specific changes
Successfully differentiated between the significance of each fuel source across the two decades.
Introduction
Managed to provide a solid introduction that sets the stage for the analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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