IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #proportions #pupils #four #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table provides information about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of students
attended
Correct pronoun usage
who attended
show examples
 four different school types in the year 2000, 2005 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, apart from community
schools
Use synonyms
, other groups of educational institutions faced a declining trend throughout the years. The most popular ones
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 voluntary-controlled
schools
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
schools
Use synonyms
. Specialized education always be the least popular among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults.
According to
Linking Words
 the table,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voluntary-controlled used to take up slightly more than half of the students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
then
Linking Words
 started to steadily decrease to 38% in 2005 and 20% in 2009 respectively.
The grammar
Correct article usage
Grammar
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 used to have approximately a
quater
Correct your spelling
quarter
 of teenagers study
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 continuously
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to 12% in 2009. Meanwhile, the specialist
schools
Use synonyms
 remained in the
last
Linking Words
 place with a small decrease from 12% to 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the community
schools
Use synonyms
 were the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 with
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
increasing growth in popularity, with
Correct article usage
a sharply
show examples
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 incline to 32%, and eventually took the top place with 58% of pupils
decided
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
 to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by pimpisut.sata on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words schools with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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